So, everything is going to look very different…

Posted on January 19th, 2017

…because I’m finally updating this site. This home base will have a redesign. A tightening up. The daggy formatting and fonts will go. She’s having a haircut! It all kicks off next week.

Meantime, here’s a few things I might share about, since you’re here. It’s prolly not news to you guys. Most of you have been here with me the whole way. kicked off 2,757 days ago. 

I cut my hair five years ago. Which means the site’s been outdated that long. Oh well. No one has really minded. Bigger fish to fry…

The content I’ve explored here has directed the vibe of my new book, out Feb 28. But more on this next week. Can ya guess?

I’ve written 1,309 posts.

The most popular post is So I’ve written an ebook… (followed closely by The best toxin-free cosmetics – a personal listicle).

My bike helmets rant ended up with 284 comments. (Feel free to wade in!)

Great people I met via the comments on this site: explorer Dan Buettner, writer Kate Grenville, singer Clare Bowditch, actress Susie Porter.

Croissant-gate broke the internet in 2013. Well before Kim Kardashian balanced champagne on her arse. Read more

Think men are useless? Don’t. It only hurts us.

Posted on January 17th, 2017

Justified or not, women can tend to find men frustratingly lazy/self-serving/myopic/unable to plan the kids’ birthday party. And they can tend to voice such frustration often.

Image via Sincerely Kinsey

Image via Sincerely Kinsey

I have a friend who shrugs her shoulders and says, regularly, “Look, women are just the more capable half of the race”.

I’ve always felt uncomfortable around this kind of talk. I truly don’t know what to make about where we – the two halves of the race – sit right now. We’re confused about roles. Women feel overworked and underpaid, lumped with too much responsibility. Men feel under-appreciated, misunderstood and emasculated.

But, I don’t reckon bitching about it is good. Moaning and bitching doesn’t feel like the evolved and constructive way to go about shifting things for the better. If anything it’s always seemed resigned and passive and unhelpful. And not kind.

I echo the thoughts of Irin Carmon in this op-ed on What Women Really Think of Men in The New York Times, responding to the “men are useless” cry:

“As a feminist, I disagree. It does women, and society, no favors to grouse about female superiority as a way to let men off the hook. When society writes off men as irredeemable, we all lose.”

There’s another (essentialist) argument to be made here. Anyone mindfully engaged in pondering contemporary gender relations (ie feminists) and who might think their critical thinking is reasonably advanced has a responsibility to carry the debate to higher territory. Read more

Interrupt anxiety with gratitude

Posted on January 12th, 2017

*This post has been updated to include the giveaway winners below.

I caught up with Danielle LaPorte the other day. I wanted to ask her a bit about anxiety. She gets it. She writes about it.


I’ve followed her White Hot Truths for a while. And her career in the self-help-of-the-brutal-variety realm. (Note: Danielle tours Australia next month, with special guest Clare Bowditch. Details, and a ticket giveaway, below). A while back she dropped one of her “truth bombs”:

Interrupt anxiety with gratitude

I like this. I’ve dug around on the topic of late. Alex Korb writes in The Grateful Brain, ‘Gratitude can have such a powerful impact on your life because it engages your brain in a virtuous cycle. Your brain only has so much power to focus its attention. It cannot easily focus on both positive and negative stimuli.’ Literally, you can’t be grateful and anxious at the same time. You can, thus, derail your anxiety by being grateful. Chuck a bomb under it!

On top of this, research shows gratitude stimulates the hypothalamus, a part of the brain that regulates anxiety.

Korb adds that the brain loves to fall for the confirmation bias – it looks for things that prove what it already believes to be true. ‘So once you start seeing things to be grateful for, your brain starts looking for more things to be grateful for.’

And thusly interrupting anxiety even more.

I asked Danielle a little more about her anxious thinking.

Me: Why do we get anxious?

DLP: Because every time anxiety shows up, it’s our psyche’s way of saying, “Knock knock, I’ve got something to show you about yourself that you really should see.”

Me: How do you cope with it? Read more