I’m moving…for now. always “for now”.

Posted on June 29th, 2011

As regular readers of this blog probably know, I recently decamped from Sydney to the Byron Bay hinterland. It was a temporary thing. An experiment. To see how it felt. In the interim I lived out of a suitcase and left my stuff in Sydney.

But this week I’m actually moving my stuff up north.

My health still ain’t great. And up there/here it’s easier for me to be well. I get my food from farmers nearby – unprocessed, chemical-free – , I can sink myself each day in the ocean, it’s quiet, things are simple. I’m pulled less. I push less.

I like myself more. I unfurl.

And then I head to the city each fortnight or so for work and it’s great and it’s busy and I see my wonderful friends (and have sleepovers) and I burn myself out a little because that’s what I do. And then back to the quiet.

I’m not sure why I’m explaining things like this…but I know a few of you have been curious….

So. The move is going to entail:

giving away about 60% of my belongings. Living out of one suitcase has made me realise I don’t need much more. My belongings irk me when I think of them. I need my wetsuit and my passport and perhaps my juicer. But I struggle to think of anything much more than that.

shipping my pared-back stuff up here…and sticking it in storage. I don’t want my stuff around me just yet.

saying goodbye to a part of my life.

And so I’m a little sad. I’m sad to put an era to an end.

I’m sad to say goodbye to my community – my friends, the boys at the Bondi Rescue tower who have greeted me almost every morning for six years, the old ladies in the sauna at Bondi Icebergs, the writers and bloggers I shared an office with…. What happens when I’m not there? Does the light stay on in the fridge when you shut the door?

And…have I changed? I think I have. I think an era is over.

I’m sad to realise the flimsiness of the notion of “home”. Where do I belong if I can so easily up and leave? I love moving on. I thrive on change. But this means I regularly have to confront the idea that I don’t belong anywhere and that I travel alone.

But in this realisation I’m forced to confront and accept my own company.

Wherever you go, there you are.

All this time that we were thinking we could rely on four walls, or other people, or routine, or structure to feel we belong. When we knock these down, we realise we were kidding ourselves. Then we’re free to rely on something sturdier. Something far more transportable. Something, which, for many of us, needs to come out of storage.

I’m not entirely sure where I want to be. Where I want to set down a few roots. But I’m comforting myself by saying it’s for now.

Because everything is just “for now”.

We can always make roots, and then carefully re-pot later…

 

 

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  • Nicky

    Sarah, Bravo for doing what a lot of us dream of doing.

    The simplicity and honesty of your words is really touching and your blogs which I have be re-reading recently, whilst in a fog of thyroidy type days, are making me take stock and realise that I need to slow down and focus on me.

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  • http://www.scandifoodie.blogspot.com Maria @ Scandifoodie

    I’m excited for you! I’m a country girl at heart and the past five and a half years in Sydney have made me yearn back to the countryside. I think a change is always good and, after all, home is where the heart is…

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  • MaryV

    The idea of pairing down appeals to me but as a historian the need to keep some of my stuff for the connection to my past and those of my ancestors is also important and vital to my sense of history. The balance of the two is difficult. The affective nature of possessions, especially as we age and loose loved ones, cannot be undervalued.

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  • Jem

    Isn’t it funny how you’re returning to the self sustaining, alternative type lifestyle you grew up in but couldn’t wait to escape.

    Enjoy the journey, wherever it takes you “for now”.

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    It’s been busting to be unleashed for a looooong time!

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  • Julie

    Sarah,
    “Bloom where you are planted” (and enjoy) x

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    Jo Reply:

    What a lovely quote Julie!
    And Sarah, I will second this… enjoy and thrive

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  • http://herheartcriesfowl.blogspot.com Angela

    Farewells are always sad Sarah, but it’s so nice to be able to welcome a soul like yours to my lil part of the world. It really does feel like home here.

    Goodluck with everything, and if you ever need a fellow friend to trawl through stalls @ Bangers markets let me know ;)

    A x

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  • sculley

    What a beautiful post…so refreshing to hear some one put themselves and their health first and acknowledge that they don’t need ‘stuff’. :-)

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  • angela

    There must be something in the air. I’m going through some changes too. Your article has helped to put my anxiety at ease!. All the best Sarah! xx

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    oh, I’m glad. THAT’s why I write this blog…to put anxiety at ease – mine and others’

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  • http://www.soulsessions.com.au Eloise @MySoulSessions

    Beautiful. Brave. Authentic. Admirable. Free.

    I feel so free when I read this post Sarah. Well done you for being a warrior of health, light, Self, truth and simplicity. Best of luck. I’ll be following your journey as a perfect reminder to stay on my path, even when I have to leave things behind.

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  • http://svasti.wordpress.com/ Svasti

    Not feeling like you belong anywhere is more of a true state of being that creating layers and layers of attachment that ultimately isn’t real. Being responsible for our own happiness and health is kind of scary sometimes, but it’s better that way, I think.

    I’ve had at least 19 addresses in my lifetime. I’ve sort of lost count now. As much as I lament not having connections sometimes, those that I do have are real and enduring. For me, home is where the people I love are. Those people are spread all over the world so it sort of makes sense that I’m such a gypsy.

    Anyway, you’re honouring your health which is something we all need to do. Luckily you have a job that allows you to live up Byron way. Wish I could do the same.

    Actually, my kick-ass-rockin-but-kinda-crazy plan is to pay off the rest of my debts, re-build my health, save a bunch of cash, sell most of my belongings and then go travelling to do more studies as a yoga teacher (I’ve done an initial 500hr training but I want MORE), and then find somewhere I can afford to live on a yoga teacher’s wage. The plan is to downsize my life and my income, too.

    It’s a plan that makes me smile, and I’m inspired that you’re already in the process of this for yourself. :)

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  • http://www.inspacesbetween.com Rach

    Good on you Sarah, I’m thrilled for you! You set such a great example on this blog for “slowing down” “taking pause” etc, so congrats on having the self-awareness to do what’s right for you at this time. Byron is the best, can’t go wrong there! x

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  • http://thecleanbeautyblog.tumblr.com Zara

    Best of luck with the re-potting :)

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  • Paul

    Beautiful article Sarah, so honest and touching. Sad to see you go, please keep blogging! Don’t forget us!

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    There I am..and I’m not going anywhere!

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  • Amelia

    Thank you for this gorgeous honest and reflective post Sarah. It really resonated with me as I sit here in my New York apartment, one month in to a post heartbreak move across the world. It’s a long flight, but wherever I go, there I am!

    Enjoy your more permanent unfurling.

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  • Sigsy

    What a lovely post. Thank youxxx

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  • Triz

    You’re a brave soul Sarah and your new pot does sound like it has the potential to bloom.

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  • Mia

    Beautiful Sarah, just beautiful. Good on you for putting your health first – I know this has been one of the struggles you mentioned, and I am heartened to see you successfully making huge steps at this!

    I have had 3 different homes in the last 12 months and about to move into a 4th, not by choice, but I feel you on the “lost” thing. Until you realise that home is just an illusion anyway, you are not your belongings. You are you, and your heart will always lie (and always has before) with those you love.

    One of your best posts yet. Brought a tear to my eye.

    As an aside – do you feel for some reason that EVERYBODY seems to be having huge life changes around now? Relationships breaking up, people moving on, careers changing… it seems we are all in a state of flux!

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  • http://www.livingsavvy.com.au Jo

    Sarah, sounds like the best of both worlds! That is my dream to have a base in town and one where as a family we can get away to. We are heading down again to Coffs Harbour this week and I plan to take some time to look around for something around where you are putting down roots a small step towards moving closer to fullfilling a dream. I am sure that you will grow strong, I think it is a great fit.

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  • http://foodiefresh.com Kelly @foodiefresh

    I’ve just started reading your blog, but I’m so interested where this move will take you, not just physically but spiritually and healthfully.

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  • Mel

    You might be leaving the Bondi crew behind, but how lucky are you to have found new friends such as a mermaid & guitarist from Grinspoon!

    Sounds like the perfect time for you to leave the toxins of the city life behind. Hey, you can always go back. Nothing is permanent.

    p.s. no dreadlocks or hairy armpits please!

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  • T

    Absolutely lovely. Wherever you go, there you are. I needed this today. Thankyou.

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  • Ele

    Good on you Sarah. After 10 years in Sydney, I packed it all back to Brisbane. My next move with hubby will be somewherenaround Byron and we are excited! It all just seems to flow when you most need it to. Have fun

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  • Jessica Rabbit

    All the best with the move and Thank You for this blog, i love reading it xo

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  • http://oneaprilmorning.net Laura

    All the best for your new era, Sarah. xx

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  • raye

    SW, a moving piece. I wish you the very best in the move, it’s for the best!
    I too am going through an intense period of change. Making my very anxious however I keep reminding myself ‘Wherever you go, there you are’. It feels good and right and so let it be.
    Something is in the air. The direction of the wind has changed.

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    Mel Reply:

    Raye, you are awesome. Love your compassion.

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  • Ele

    Great shot on Aquabumps Sarah – I assume the green shorts are travelling with you! :-)

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  • Selena

    Thanks Sarah,
    Another lovely post. it is funny how some places just feel right. My place for now is Paddington, Qld….it just feels like home.
    My health is getting heaps better but has been a little up and down lately too, thanks for all your info. on how to best manage AI and inflammation…I have sourced the Fish Oil and Beauty Powder and will see how it goes.
    You did a wonderful job of hosting Day 2 of the Happiness and it’s Causes conference. I saw you at the end of Day 2 about to head up the Escalator..but I had no voice (the flu)…so thought it probably wasn’t the best time to introduce myself to someone who has been rather influential to me over the last 18 months. Thanks.
    Enjoy Byron; isn’t it just such a relaxing and rejuvenating place.

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  • http://www.jennyblume.com.au Jenny Blume

    Good on you, Sarah. I did exactly the same thing in my early thirties and enjoyed six blissful years in the hinterland – although, ironically, I was never busier on the work front. Family ended up luring me back to Sydney, but the friends I made up north will last a lifetime. Live the dream… you’ll love it!

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  • http://www.jennyblume.com.au Jenny Blume

    PS Astrologically, it’s eclipse season… the perfect time to embrace change.

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  • http://www.inherentorganics.miessence.com Jenny

    What a beautiful piece of writing.

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  • violeta

    Sarah, I love your authenticity and honesty. I find you quite inspiring. I wish you good health. On a similar journey myself…xx

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  • http://northcountrygent.blogspot.com/ Tony

    Very poignant post for me as I’ve just packed up most of my belongings and have begun living in my VW van for the summer, after which I’ll live out of a backpack for a few months. Then…who knows? I like the simple life too but am having a hard time thinking of starting over again. I loved the peace and tranquility of my home and my friends are wonderful. Something very important is missing from my life, so I packed up everything I owned, will be quitting my job at the end of August, and then trying to discover more about myself. In that, I hope to discover more of what’s missing.

    Thank you for sharing.

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    Mel Reply:

    Something nice about you. I hope you find whatever is missing.

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  • Lauren

    I thought you were married Sarah? Are you moving alone?

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  • Mandy

    You seem to be working your way up the east coast..Melb, Syd, Byron – following the sun. Something they tend to grow up north is good for medicinal purposes and relaxation :)

    Chill & have fun

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  • http://www.givingbackgirl.blogspot.com Lisa

    Good for you Sarah, your blog posts since you’ve been up north seem to have a peacefulness to them. I hope your health and your blog continues to benefit from the salt air and the clean living.

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  • Sarah Brooks-Wilson

    If only more people in this world listened to their bodies like you, then i’m sure there would be a lot more happier people. I see it amongst so many of my stressed out friends and it makes me sad to think that if only they slowed down and made changes to their lives they would feel so much better. Good luck on your journey. Its a beautiful part of the world and a place I love to go to find my soul when it gets lost. x

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  • http://www.180nutrition.com.au/blog Guy

    Being a blogger myself, I follow many and see what people have to say.. Sarah, you write in a style with honesty that only most could hope for.. Long may you continue the inspiration!

    Enjoy the next stage of your journey…

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  • Lis

    Oh dear…I cried when I read your blog and the comments which followed. My work mate caught me wiping away tears and feared the worse when I managed to mutter through sobs ‘it’s Sarah’. She very kindly took me out for a coffee and I did feel very stupid explaining that I was talking about Sarah Wilson and she is moving from Sydney to Byron! I have reminded myself you are moving, not dying!!

    All the best Sarah. And maybe after 7 yrs it’s time to buy some new shorts!

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  • Fi

    i’m jealous! such a beautiful place to settle for any amount of time.

    i realise this is beside the point – but if the sass & bide dress you wore to the clinique superfood function in melbourne is one of the 60% of things you’re getting rid of – i would love to make a donation to your moving north fund – or any other you feel worhthy – in exchange for it. i loved it and tried to track one down for myself but had no luck!

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  • Queenie

    Hey Sarah, I’m glad to hear it! It’s do-able, darling. i run a business from the most remote mountain-top in NSW – it’s a pretty new business but signs are that it’s going to work….and once a fortnight I do an intense couple of days, markets and meet-and-greets and such,,,which fulfills my need to be near lots of people.

    And then I can retreat.

    And I get to be properly with my daughter, and to be good to both of us health-and-food wise. And to part of the shift that says that the city is no longer a healthy place for many of us, and it’s not our fault and it’s not for lack of trying, but we need to find new ways and to find methods of supporting ourselves, all of ourselves, not just the money bit.
    Plus, in the country, you really can pare back. You can live off what’s around you, really become a locavore. The kids don’t need TV because you can boot them outside to look after the chooks. And with the lack of TV and other media comes a real disconnect from the need to own. And that itself is a major step towards self-acceptance and thinking about other people – because there’s no longer an urge to fill a need that doesn’t exist. You get to really reconnect.

    Such a good move Sarah. I’m excited for you.

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  • TG

    Sarah you have this amazing ability to know how I’m feeling! I’m going through a similar move and starting a new phase of my life, and have been tremendously anxious for weeks now! Thanks, as always, for your insights! Xo

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  • http://www.solitaryphotographic.com Annabel

    Home is just where your stuff is, Sarah and change is inevitable.

    Enjoy every second.

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  • Lisa

    I think you need to open a health retreat in BB Sarah. You could run classes in cooking, nutrition, exercise, sleep, meditation, writing…the list is endless.

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    Ele Reply:

    I’ll come and work for you Sarah!!!

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    Sam Reply:

    It doesn’t have to be a retreat, what about just a series of workshops/lectures combining the lot. I’m sure Sarah would fill the room very quickly and could run similar wherever she is (down in here Melbourne the people alone I know who follow her blog would sign up in a flash, regardless of cost).

    Sorry Sarah, we are deciding your future for you :)

    That’s all for now.

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    Jenny Reply:

    I’ll come work for you too!

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  • Fiona

    Lol! You are so pretentious..”wetsuit, passport, juicer”. Wow.

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    Lisa Reply:

    How the hell does this make Sarah pretentious? They are 3 very simple, practical items.

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  • http://www.gourmetician.com.au Jessica Fernandez

    Wow! This is just what I needed to read today Sarah.

    I’ve been feeling like I need to find my own little place in the world since I changed careers, ended a relationship and moved house all at the same time 9 months ago.

    I think the most unsettling part is realising that the next step is completely in my control and I can do whatever I want.

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  • Patricia

    Good move Sarah
    You are giving yourself a gift. It is the best gift you will ever give and the best gift you will ever receive!!

    Your body will love you back for listening to the message it was giving to you, and for changing the pace of your life and for giving it calm and peace. So will you.

    Another thing, it is very healthy to be happy in one owns company, as you seem to be. So am I. It is simpler that way at times. I find that people can be too complex which can in itself be draining. Some people cannot be alone with themselves. They don’t know who they are. They rely on others to keep them company and entertain them.

    Good luck to you and enjoy your new era.

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  • Teya

    I just looked at your photo at the beach this morning. Weird question, but do you have a gap between your top front teeth? I have always noticed your strong white teeth but never the gap.

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    Sam Reply:

    Oh yeah, certainly looks like it and also kinda cute.

    All the best up in Byron Sarah

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    Lucy Reply:

    How strange not to have noticed this before.

    Still makes you look gorgeous Sarah x

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  • http://www.womeninbusiness.com.au Clare

    I thought you’d end up there S! So happy for you. You seem so at ease – it’s lovely to read.

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  • Kate

    Wow Sarah. Truely some of your best words. I can now feel in your writing that you are so kind to yourself. This is the real stuff. Thankyouxx

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  • sarah m

    for you, sarah. just for now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25VGdNU3nrU

    beautiful whimsy.

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  • Mel

    I get that deep sentimental sadness when you leave a part of your life behind. It’s so consuming to me it’s almost paralysing. New adventures are great and change is a part of life, but how I ache when I know these days are over. Oh it’s just me, Sensitive. I hate it. Goodluck. I knew u would stay up there.

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  • http://www.befabulousfitness.com Kerry

    Hey Sarah! Love the article. Your new plan sounds great to me. Will miss seeing you about Byron BUT I know I will bump into you again here or somewhere:) Have fun chillaxing up north where its warmer. Dont forget your bikini! xx

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  • Alexandra

    I’m so grateful for this post. And for all the comments that reinforce the changing winds and energetic shifts that I’ve been feeling here in California. I’m thankful to know I’m not alone in that turbulence.

    Enjoy your new pot, Sarah!

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  • Jane

    This reads like a renewal in the belief in change. It feels authentic. And Sarah we all travel alone, it’s when we forget that we become encumbered by fears and stop trusting what we as an individual know to be true. You’ll be fine, whatever comes your way.

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  • http://www.nourishedlife.com.au irene@nourishedlife.com.au

    I wish I could do the same. In fact I wish I could escape for a few weeks and enjoy Byron’s clean air and food … I am struggling to live a toxic free life in Sydney but everytime I drive over that bridge I realise how much I love living here.

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  • http://www.theunexpectedguest.com Juniper Wilkinson

    6 months ago I did exactly the same thing. Bondi to Byron hinterland (Bangalow to be exact..) I have not looked back once. I had a realization the other day that perhaps I had ‘outgrown’ Bondi… and am growing in a much different direction here. Anyways, hope you enjoy, it’s a lovely place to be.

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  • http://www.wholeheartedhome.com deborah

    As a girl that’s on her 26 homes in 5 different countries in 45 years I got to say I love a bit of change myself. After all nothing is permanent and life is for experiencing – love the idea of paring back too. Enjoy.

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    Steph Reply:

    I second that

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  • http://www.sillyandveg.tumblr.com Nat Power

    First thing I thought when I read your blogpost about your garage sale was “what about the juicer?”. This previous post answers that question perfectly. I just scored a temporary loan from my sister on this appliance and after breakfast this morning i already feel like i have found a match made in GF, anti-oxidant, candida diet heaven! Huh. How many more things can I live without in my diet? GF, vegetarian and now refined sugar/yeast free – guess I won’t be going out to dinner anytime soon but I wonder if there are any chefs that want to cater for me or help me prepare a menu list?? I see it as a challenge but I would love some help. Sometimes I think you just have the answers I am looking for Sarah, so keep posting from wherever you are, we will all keep reading and commenting.

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  • Steph

    Awesome good for you Sarah. I had the same yearning many years ago and did the same thing turns out I preferred city life but how do you know what you like until you try it you might never want to come back!

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  • Lise

    Good on you !!! When I married I moved from Melb to down the coast. Yes I miss my friends, I feel out of the “loop” sometimes, I miss the swish bars and restaurants, and looking at boys in suits. But when I see my friends, its as if nothing has changed. They always comment on how fantastic I look. Why would I want to swap being able to take my kids to the beach after school, look for shells on the weekend, watch hangliders take off, go for amazing bushwalks and not see a sole and surf whenever you can for battling for a carpark at Chadstone, spending hours stuck in traffic and getting caught up in the whole big city ,gotta have the right clothes, blah, blah blah stuff. I love my life, and you will too. Take care

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  • Julie

    I think it’s brilliant what you’re doing…I think it shows real growth…and I myself feel like getting away from the city and into the country would be very beneficial for my health as well…

    I’m happy for you and the new road you’re embarking on…

    Love, Jules

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  • Ross H

    I am really sorry to hear that your health is still not great. I sincerely hope that this shift works out for you as you hope and wish.

    Regards

    Ross

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  • Angela

    Excellent!! I have done the same (grew up paddo in Sydney) and moved to Byron (only spent six months in the town) but stayed for six years in the area. You are in the perfect situation to make it work- and you’ll see the same humpbacks!! Enjoy. I often ponder how I can move regionally again but would have to make it work this time – even tho I worked in professional jobs (towards the end at least after my fab times hosting health and lifestyle bayfm radio shows and working at the pass cafe) I could never earn enough to feel at all prosperous. Love my pals up there and perhaps sometime will return…fuelled by city opportunities – boy this place is getting crazy lately tho!

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  • http://www.mikewilde.com mike wilde

    Keen to see where this takes the literary you ..
    The beautiful night sky will bring you deeper into yourself ..
    And the scents and sounds will carry you onto your next Adventure
    God/dess Bless
    mw

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  • http://www.tabletonic.blogspot.com Louise (Table Tonic)

    “We can always make roots, and then carefully re-pot later…” Oh how I love that. Hey good luck with the move. Sounds like you have a plan. Hugs xxx Loulou

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  • Kylie

    Thank you!
    You hit a nerve with me – your decluttering of your possessions, location and life is inspiring. You are brave!

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  • debbie

    Sarah, I love this post and am inspired by your decision to change your environment to one where so many more (or less?!) of the pieces support your wellbeing. I can relate on so many levels… the past couple of years have seen me evolve far beyond the life (and I feel, the identity) that I created for myself. The result? In my heart I knew that many of the pulls in my life (career, ambition, materialism, anxiety) had become toxic to me, but I soldiered on for what seemed like a bunch of good reasons until my body followed suit and I was recently hospitalised with a serious illness. Now I’m beginning to accept that if I don’t make some serious changes, I not only won’t get well, but life will continue to present this lesson to me until I get it. Now I’m off to purge some stuff!

    “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” — Joseph Campbell.

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