why women like to be alone and men don’t.

Posted on January 19th, 2012

Did you catch this NYT article by Dominique Browning on why women like being alone? And men don’t, especially after a break-up? It’s interesting…

image via weheartit.com

Browning describes the time she fell over at home and couldn’t move. She lived alone. She had that thought I’ve had often: I could die here and no one would know. It got her thinking about a whole heap of generalities to do with choosing to live alone (which women love and men don’t, she claims). Here’s a few:

Most men seem unable to live alone for longer than, say, at the outside … three months.

Most single women I know really love their lives.

And this, which I really do agree with:

Sometimes we suffer pangs of loneliness, sometimes we ache for the companionship of that mythic soul mate, but mostly we cherish our independence. We love doing whatever we want to do, when we want to do it.

Women alone eat breakfast at 11 if we feel like it, lunch at 3 and dinner never if that’s the way the day is winding down. Single women do not worry about cooking unless we want to. And we don’t want to unless we like to.

We love not being judged, not being criticized, not being hemmed in. We love the give and take of making our own decisions….

Single men could not care less about any of the above lifestyle features.

I love all those things and I’m aware that most single men I know don’t. They might be OK about living alone, but they don’t cherish these things – they don’t get all hugge about curling up on a couch with no distractions or having eggs for dinner in front of Offspring. Browning points out that men like shacking up and seek it out. Then asks, but why, and rambles thus:

After I hit my tailbone and joggled my brain, I lay there, thinking …This is, indeed, dangerous.

…Men are hard-wired to feel danger all the time… that’s what makes a man a man. A man is on guard because that is his job.He hunts and tangles with wild beasts. He does not nest….He avoids danger, aware that only so many arrows are granted to him in a lifetime, so he should husband his resources.

Being alone feels dangerous to a man. No one has your back. No one feeds you. No one nurses you in your sickbed. No one takes up a watch if you vanish or sends out a search party if you wander off the trail.

The world is dangerous enough without adding the dangers that come of being alone.

And women?

Women do not walk around alert for danger. Nor do we feel that being alone is dangerous. Women are hard-wired to read the signals that keep us from danger, and, when confronted by trouble, we escape, fleeing into our homes.

To a woman, being home feels safe.

We love our nests. We tend them, and in exchange we expect them to keep us snug and warm and serene and safe. Which, generally, they do. Because nests are reliable.

I agree with a lot of this, although it’s a little too essentialist for my liking. But I add these two (essentialising) thoughts:

Men often have a need to go to their “cave”. A cave is like “being alone”, but is temporary and – and this is the important distinction – can be experienced while a woman is sitting right next to him on the couch. Women can’t do this. We can’t “escape” to our alone spot when people are around. We’re too aware, too conscious of others’ needs and feelings. We have to physically get away.

Men uni-task happily and well. Women don’t/can’t. Men can remain absorbed in an activity they love. The washing up can beckon, dinner time can loom, a partner might be hovering – and men can continue to do the things they love (watch telly, fix a bike, read a book) without being distracted. I find I can’t. I juggle lots of things at once…

The point of these two points is that men (mostly) can satisfy their need to be alone (to get away and to do things they love) while being with a woman. In fact, they feel safer when they do them with a woman.

What do you think? I know I – and Browning – have made some sweeping generalisations. But can you see the thread?

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  • Mel

    Oh yeah to all of it.

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  • http://web.me.com/barbidefazio/2becreative_Site/About_Me.html Barbi D

    Very interesting and familiar. I love my husband and my children very much but I need (yes, Need) my alone time. No one to tend to, to take requests from, etc. My hubby can’t understand this, he supports it but doesn’t get it at all. : )

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    phil espinoza Reply:

    My Ex-Fiance of 10 years left me after I got Traumatic Brain Injury in Sept 2008 from an ATV Motor Cycle Crash. I was in a coma for 3 months and woke up in December 2008. She and I lived together for about 1 year….and she left….to live alone…I Respect her choice..it was tough…but it was her choice…She did tell me she did not love me anymore….She likes being alone…I don’t…and I do not know why? I’m trying to accept living alone as being okay…as it is anyway…and live happily…..And not all men judge…’Women do also..It is a personality issue..not one of the sex….

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  • Frankie

    So women who live with a partner are being judged, criticised and hemmed in? Oh, and don’t make their own decisions. And cannot do what they want, when they want.

    Sweeping generalisations is putting it lightly. I think I’ll stick to just reading the recipe posts from now on.

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    Don’t think I insinuate that at all…

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    Sara Reply:

    I feel that when one of the intellectuals among us muses on the human condition it’s not in our best interests to reject their observations so completely. Men and Women are so different in so many wonderful, confusing but most of all complimentary ways, and the old school feminist teachings of “we’re all the same” hasn’t evolved us very far, has it?

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    jan Reply:

    Frankie I didn’t get that from Sarah’s article at all. I do so totally agree with her about the way men and women think about being alone. After sharing with people for many, many years, I decided to live by myself and was a bit scared about how I would cope but oh my lord, I LOVED it. I had my two Siamese cats and was the happiest I have ever been.

    I now live with a beautiful man who I adore but the first 12 months living together were very, very challenging fom me, not having any alone time! I didn’t think that Sarah was criticizing people like me at all.

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  • Wade

    Your readers should be careful not to fall into the trap of assuming men are all one way and women all the other. Because there is a continuum. Basically some men are happy enough to live alone indefinitely, whislt some women are not.

    But yes, men are generally hard-wired to see danger differently than women.

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    Meg Reply:

    I would think it would do with an individuals level of empathy. If you acutely feel others feelings/needs/wants you’re empathetic. I can understand this for anyone wanting to be alone if they’re constantly switched onto this. To physically remove yourself from things is because you can’t cope internally or emotionally with the situation, it can be a draining experience being empathetic.

    Yep, that makes sense to me.

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  • http://twitter.com/cbdee Will Bronson

    Interesting article. I think its quite generalist, but there is some truth to it.

    In my experience, women believe they are multi-tasking champions but actually each task which is only being given partial attention in actually quite often at the cost of real quality and devotion. I know sometimes my girlfriend thinks she is really doing well at the multi tasking, while “mmm-ing” and “ahh-ing” and “yeah-ing” as she does something else, thinking she has me fooled that she is both listening and simultaneously focusing elsewhere, but I believe this to be a bit of a childish belief too many woman perpetuate. The reality is there is only 100% of attention that can be provided at any point in time – that means if its two tasks, it is 50% roughly to each, not 200% focus split up the wonderful fantasy I think woman often convince themselves they are doing.

    What you have described though with “men” isn’t really a description of “men”, but “boys’. And in Australia, most men are not men at all, and remain in an endless stunted growth of boyhood, seeking the validation of one another, requesting permission from their mothers, sorry, I mean girlfriends and spouses to take action.. and this action, all to often is sourced by the need for validation, again, a mindset of a child. So if you were to say, “boys can’t live on their own for more than 3 months” I would agree with you, but in this overly feminine valued society the barometer has not really being very fairly calibrated and measured against real “men”, sorry, and so most of this research and analysis is really off the mark and perpetuates the myths of the differences between man and woman.

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    Will…good points and I do tend to agree that things have been skewed, a lot by the fact we’ve become scared to step into our sexual roles, boldly, unapologetically.

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    Will Bronson Reply:

    Quite a provocative blog you have written here Sarah. Skewed is definitely a way to put it. Hopefully with more discussions like these people will more unapologetically mature into who they could be.

    I’m sure that diet also plays a part in all this skewing – considering the bodies and mental growth are connected – we’ve all been saturated with a lifetime of growth distorting items we’ve come to consider normal and healthy, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

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    miss jodi Reply:

    i must have been lining up firmly somewhere else when god was giving out the multitasking skills. my mum keeps trying to tell me that women are the best at multitasking and cannot for the life of her work out where it went wrong with her second eldest. i can’t do it. its one thing at a time, here. ‘bird’ by ‘bird’ if i can quote from a comment by a reader on this post. although i can sing and hang the washing out at the same time ;) d
    does that count?

    Trevor Otto Reply:

    Spot on Brother !

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  • Sarah

    Yep, i tend to agree and it seems to match the dynamic in my relationship with my husband – BUT what this doesn’t address is the simple fact that MOST people who are hermits / homeless / choose to live outside of society completely are MEN.

    It seems that women may prefer to live alone, but still keep up a network of friends and family that they see regularly even when they choose this. but men who choose to live alone also choose to give up being a part of society completely.

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    SArah, the homeless point is super valid. And it makes the issue even sadder. Homelessness is a bit of thing for me…I support a few charities…Febfast being one of them.

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    Amy S Reply:

    Hmm, this article doesn’t apply to the many single women whom happen to be sole parents.
    If you think most homeless people are men you are seriously out of touch. I believe the homeless in Australia are about half female, tragically many with children. I experienced homelessness with my child for six months last year because there is a severe housing shortage in Melbourne and I am on a disability pension because I am seriously ill. There are currently 30,000 people on the waiting list for public housing in Melbourne so a sick mother with a child has no chance.

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    Yes, Amy it’s a different sort of homeless…not so visible, perhaps. I hope you’re in a stable place now?

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  • http://www.jacintafleur.com Jacinta

    When I met my partner, he had such a genuine love of painting. An activity he did alone, for as much of his spare time as he possibly could. Years later, and he still loves being alone and painting. His eyes shine and he is incredibly peaceful after painting. From single to married, he has deeply loved his alone time – not as getting away, but as a place to be and a space to create. I wouldn’t say that it has ever been attached to his relationship status. It is part of his personality. Perhaps these ‘men-that-love-to-be-alone-and-live-alone” are harder to meet, because they are busy enjoying their own company?

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    Stephii Reply:

    I agree with you Jacinta, and a lovely worded paragraph that was. Indeed, I love my alone time, and I find that I can concentrate solely on gaming, particularly in online gaming, whereas the article indicates that only men have that ability. I think the above is pretty generalised. At the end of the day my belief is that it comes down to, whether male or female, we all have different personalities and various contributing factors which make us tick :)

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  • Ross H

    Not sure I agree with it all. I am definitely one of those men who do like being alone much of the time. That is how I coped with the long period of dramas. But then again I used to be a social animal although that was when I still drank. Heavily. I also learned to my cost that my preference for being alone and withdrawn from things was not terribly helpful for my mental state.

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  • Judy

    I completely agree with Dominique! 100%
    Made me feel better about myself & the turbulent relationship I continuously battle with day to day.

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  • Chris

    The first thing I thought of when I read your opening line was ‘isn’t it the other way around?’

    Do people like to make sweeping generalisations about gender to qualify the way they live life? I have never thought of my own life as being in trend with anyone else’s. Do what suits you and makes you happy and who cares what everyone else is doing.

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  • Mia Bluegirl

    Completely disagree. I see sooooo many women with the wrong men – guys who aren’t suited for them, who cheat on them, who hit them sometimes – because they can’t handle being alone. Somehow being a single woman (especially beyond a is akin to having leprosy, a fate to be avoided at all costs!

    Most single men I know love being alone. Then again, they are MY friends, so naturally they would share some of my values! My ex hated being alone, always needed a girlfriend in his life. His mother had children because she was lonely and always resented them for growing up and having their own lives, so he had no ability whatsoever to stand on his own two feet.

    As far as awareness of danger, you raise an interesting point. Statistically, the biggest threat to women as far as rape, violence, assault, murder etc is their own partner so it makes sense that any educated woman would feel safer on their own. It’s horrible, and equally horrible to the majority of wonderful men that exist in the world… but being horrible doesnt make it less true.

    The part I do agree with is single women (I mean, those who get past the Bridget Jones steretype and actually embrace single life) do generally get a lot out of it. Spending Sundays reading classic literature on the beach instead of visiting the mother in law, or $2 taco night on a weeknight with a girlfriend instead of watching the Footy Show, is so soul-warmingly good and wonderful. We are bludgeoned with the idea that being single is a failure but I dont see why something good cant come out of life regardless of our marital status. Neither life is necessarily better or worse, just different..?

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  • Anthony

    Your right Sarah, they are sweeping generalisations and without solid data to back them up that is all they are, party talk. They could in fact be true but unless there is hard data it is as good as pissing in the wind. That does not mean to say that it is not a worthy topic for discussion, but it would be good to have some data to get your laughing gear around.
    Cheers

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    My point exactly…some issues worth chatting about…that’s all.

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    April Reply:

    data is always good, but then there’s always reading, digesting and seeing if it gels with you, and if not why not!! Good for reflection!

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  • http://mulberryroad.tumblr.com genevieve

    The premise that all men or all women are like this is probably flawed. Plenty of us can find exceptions, I’m sure. But it’s an interesting post, Sarah, as always.

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  • Ha!!

    Your poison writing chokes the life out of all who bother to read it. Give it up or get over it – please!

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    Leila Reply:

    Ha, huh?? Why bother reading if it you feel this way.

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  • http://www.kisslifestyle.blogspot.com April

    Good read. When I first read the title I thought ‘oh that’s not right at all’ then I read it and I have to say I agree with the points. I love to be around people, to have community, friends and family, however I LOVE and I would say NEED my alone time. Exactly as you say……away from people!! I can’t do it when someone’s sniffing around!! :) Of course there are exceptions to the rule. I know men that are quite happy living on there own for more than three months, however they all want the relationshp eventually (but then maybe us chicks do too). A friend’s Dad once said to me “we boys think we’re supposed to go out and earn a living and achieve things and do stuff, but what we really need is to come home to a loving family….that’s what it’s really all about, and it’s a matter of either knowing this or being made to see it!!”…….just some ramblings :)

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    picardie.girl Reply:

    I agree, April, when I read the title I thought the same! But then much of the post resonated with me. Perhaps it’s not very aptly titled? It’s more about why women like to LIVE alone and men don’t.

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    April Reply:

    Hi Picardie Girl!! And thinking about it a little more, I like to have my alone time although I do like to live with a partner. There are always advantages and disadvantages, though overall I think living together is great……..ideally in a big enough house for a west wing and east wing he he (just kidding)…….or at least some space where you can have your own time…….I always say I love a man with a hobby!!! Go play golf honey….yes yes, 18 holes is great….how about going twice round!!!!

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  • Jason

    I don’t understand why you don’t write from your OWN heart more. Whilst almost every post is interesting to say the least, they all stem from other peoples ideas/feelings/beliefs. Look back at almost every post and you have referenced someone, regurgitated their work and posted a blog about it. Even the whole sugar malarkey is really David Gillespie’s angle. There are hardly ANY posts where you don’t use this method. I gotta say, the best posts are about yourself – ie: moving to Byron, feeling lonely, what you cooked yesterday etc. These posts are about you and what YOU think. They are real. Pity there ain’t more of ‘em. :-)

    Please don’t believe everything you read, even if it is from the NYT. I mean, who says these people know more than you anyway?

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    Jason, I like to pivot off something… and bring my own points into it. My style.

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  • picardie.girl

    I like this. These ruminations are gentle and thought-provoking, and despite the generalisations, feel… generally true.

    As Nikki Gemmell said in a book of hers, “when my husband’s away, I … unfurl.” I think it’s a nice, gentle way of saying that despite how much she loves him and enjoys being with him, there is a certain freedom and pleasure to be had in being alone.

    My beloved certainly doesn’t hem me in, judge, or criticise me – but I am too aware of him, too conscious of his needs and feelings, to unfurl when he is around, the way I can when I have some time alone.

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  • Shonkers

    I can’t help but wonder if part of the reason women “cherish” their time alone, is due at least in part to the fact that we have only really been ‘allowed’ to be alone in relatively recent times. Just a few decades ago, it would have been unheard of for women to have the sort of independence that we can enjoy today. If a woman did spend a lot of time on her own in decades past, chances are she would have been pegged by society as a pitiful spinster or something equally derogatory.

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  • Phil

    I’ve just discovered that I’m a woman.

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    Trevor Otto Reply:

    Yaeh, I’ve just discovered that I’m a Lesbian as I ‘m attracted to women all the time !

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  • Al

    I think it’s because when a woman lives with a man she ends up doing the lionshare of the domestic housework. There have been studies done on this, for those who want data, but I don’t have the references (look at Juanita Phillips’s book, she mentions them). This suits a man just fine – it’s handy having someone to cook, clean, tidy up, organise shit.

    If a woman lives alone she doesn’t have to clean up after someone else, and so on. Life is simpler, easier.

    So, having said all that, I like living with my man, because he’s awesome :-)

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    jan Reply:

    You have to train them right from the word go! it is very easy to fall into that trap because there are still traces of the 1950s set up today left from when the little wifey was at home preparing all the meals and doing all the housework. Now we both work so why should I do all the ironing, cooking and housework?? My partner used to complain like mad if I asked him to cook 2 nights in a row – when I did the other 5 nights – now he cooks 2-3 times a week and doesn’t bat an eyelid. I think we have a pretty even division of labor now but it’s casual and sometimes one does more than the other and vice verca.

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  • Ha!!

    It’s more that many women are soo retarded that they are incapable of normal healthy supportive sexual relationships. They’re better off alone because they just make themselves and others miserable with utterly unrealistic, completely self-centered and weird negative thoughts and actions which create silly expectations. So they buy a dog and shove it in their handbag ‘cos they can’t handle a real man. Then they tell themselves they like living life with a dog better – yet its only symptomatic of their various inadequacy’s and retarded logics. It’s obvious really – if you botherto think about it. And very very sad. (I hope readers can appreciate my lack of diplomacy, as being somewhat suitable in tone to the effect of this epidemic behaviour.) But on a positive note – I’m sure the dogs love it! :-)

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    Nicole Reply:

    Dude, you are coming over a little whacked out. Obviously you are feeling the sting of someone’s tail…. work it out somewhere else. You are only hurting yourself.

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    Erin Reply:

    Ha

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  • Bianca

    I agree with many of the points in the article, but my opinion on why men don’t like being alone is because they’ve always had either mum, grandma or girlfriends taking care of them. I’ve read studies that men benefit much more from being married, than women do (workloads increase etc).

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    Elizabeth Reply:

    Bianca: I really agree with this. Your argument is the modern equivalent to Sarah’s evolutionary argument. In both cases, men benefit either materially or psychologically from having a woman in their life. I did spend some time scouring the web for the statistical research you’re talking about, but couldn’t find it– I’ve read what you’re referring to as well.

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    Valli Reply:

    I also agree, I fact I do believe that if you look at the research, overall married women have a shorter life expectancy than single women, while married men have a longer life expectancy than single men. Something about give and take??

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    Mia Bluegirl Reply:

    Married women have not only a (generally) shorter life expectancy, higher risk of health problems, higher risk of violence/ rape/ injury as a result of abuse, much higher incidence of depression, lower income and less chance of promotion than single women. For men it is the exact opposite – married men live longer, healthier lives with statistically more income than single men.

    Before I start to sound bitter & jaded, the Marriage Benefit Imbalance (what Liz Gilbert references in her book) was based on studies done in the 70s, and thankfully a lot has changed since then. There is good news! It’s starting to become more even, while we arent there yet I reckon we will be one day. I still believe in love. :)

    jan Reply:

    I have seen that research bandied about and don’t doubt that it is true, but I wonder if it takes into account happily married women! If you are in a relationship with a man who you don’t like, don’t talk to and feel resentful towards, maybe the physiological effects would cause you to die earlier, but many of us love and cherish our man and are actually happier for having them in our lives! My thoughts are that you should only keep somebody in your life if they improve it (not family of course ’cause your kinda stuck with them.)

    Stephanie Reply:

    Further to Mia’s points…There is a literature on this subject (some older, some more recent, especially in the health field), but the thing one always has to remember is the data on which the lit is based. Data that researchers are using on the effects of marriage over time reflect the lives of people who are old enough to have been married for a while (!) and therefore who were born and raised in a completely different social and environmental context. The social and physical/health experiences that a population has when young obviously lay a foundation for what comes later in life. When I think anecdotally of my grandmother’s generation (born in 1920) and married largely to men returning from WWII, and even of my mother’s generation (early baby boom; not universally able to access education opportunities, etc.), it’s tough to imagine how marriage for a good chunk of them would have offered many health/mental health advantages. All I can say is that I’m very happily a member of Generation X!

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  • http://onepinkchair.blogspot.com julienne

    Living alone doesn’t work for me at all. Yes we both enjoy our alone time but we enjoy more the companionship of each other. I believe that we were supposed to live how our Grandparents often did, in family groups. We have all become so isolated now and have to come up with reasons why we enjoy it…If you really think about it, if you live alone, you are still dependant on your friends and your work place to give meaning to your life. Being able to do things when you want (not taking others into consideration) is finding the silver lining in a fairly black cloud!
    As to why men can’t go longer than 3 months alone…they don’t need to! There are a lot more single women out there than men!!!!!!

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  • http://www.orchidchef.blogspot.com jolisa

    The thing I miss most in my everyday-family-life existence is alone time. Time to be on my own, be on the couch, not to worry about the dishes, lunch-boxes etc. Would I trade all of it for some alone time? No, never.

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  • Trevor Otto

    After enduring a crazy,karmic marriage I have lived alone for 8 years and it’s cool. The trick is to pursue what interests you and to live a healthy life. Although I am not averse to another partnering with someone,the truth is that I don’t feel that will be my destiny, but who knows ? I am a too radical mix of high minded values and alternative idealism for most !

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  • andy

    There’s a difference between to be able to enjoy loneliness for a while (some hours) and to be able to live really alone for a long time. All men I know are completely unable to stay alone, to live alone, more than 3 months. True….
    I live alone (without a man) since decades and can enjoy it each single day. But I don’t know much women either live the same way….

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  • Madeleine

    Interesting discussion.

    I also wonder whether this is to do with a sense that men feel more confident being assertive and ensuring their needs are met in a public space (as Sarah says, even when there is someone else present). Cultural conditioning tends to cast women in a nurturing/subordinate role, where we are encouraged to feel that our needs are not as important as those of men.

    So perhaps it’s only in a private space, like our own home, that we can really feel comfortable asserting ourselves and demanding that our own needs are met first.

    I think the example of meal times is a really interesting one, for that reason. How many women cook meals for their male partners at times when they don’t really feel like eating (I hold my hand up to this straight away) based on an unconscious acceptance that a man’s needs take priority over our own?

    And this leads me to wonder how this might effect, in turn, our ability to listen to our own bodies’ signals about whether we are hungry/full/tired?

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    Elizabeth Reply:

    Great points, Madeleine. I very much identify with Sarah’s post, and think that my husband would identify with the generalizations about men, but I know plenty of married couples who wouldn’t agree. I think it comes down to who has the least difficulty asserting their own needs. My husband doesn’t like living alone, but he is also extremely comfortable asserting his needs. I, on the other hand, find that I subordinate my own opinions/needs/desires to whomever I live with, so I sometimes feel trapped being around others. While I have learned to say, “Go ahead and make yourself something, I’m not hungry” to my husband when he wants to eat, it has been an almost ridiculously difficult lesson to learn.

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  • http://www.sizzlesays.com sizzle

    I agree with parts of this. I definitely see my boyfriend being one of those males who can focus on the thing that brings him happiness while with me (for him it is painting or watching scifi or the military channels). I prefer to be alone to do my happy things- part of what brings me peace is the very act of solitude. I don’t really agree that women don’t feel in danger- especially given how vulnerable we are by our very gender in this world. Living alone opens a woman up to danger. I say this as a woman, an apartment manager and a self-defense instructor. But I wouldn’t have traded my time living alone for anything. It taught me so much about myself.

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  • http://www.kisslifestyle.blogspot.com April

    Did anyone read ‘Committed’ by Elizabeth Gilbert? She highlighted studies which showed Men lived longer and healthier when married and women lived shorter unhealthier lives. Because women look after men which is to a detriment to their health…….sounds great he he xx

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  • prue

    While I agree there are some big generalisations here, I can say as a single woman, I can definitely relate. I love my independence, that I can do whatever, whenever. Funnily enough, last night I ate eggs for dinner on the couch watching Gossip Girl and I freakin’ loved it.

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  • http://www.benmarden.com.au ben

    Hi Sarah,

    It has taken many years and was very painful at times, but I now enjoy living alone.

    Having said that I get plenty of visitors and have a wonderful long distance relationship.

    It’s not always easy, but I need time for just me to be me.

    Cheers
    Ben

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  • Anthony

    I have had long term relations with women, yes they have been good at multitasking, but I always made sure we shared the load the work around the home. when you live in a relationship it does have security, but you are also vulnerable, as you are required to be open and share your life with the other person, and this may explain why many people choose to live alone, but definitely not the only reason. Men are not great at making themselves vulnerable in that way, and are likely to find the company of other men or potter about their shed.

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  • james m

    interesting thread… agree that there is a lot of generalisation going on, and agree that there are often maturity issues in relationships that prevent us from ‘unfurling’. I like the ‘vulnerability’ context, but think it works both ways as well. My wife and I have been exploring how to confront that more directly and it’s been a wonderful experience. I’ve lived alone and loved it, but I I much more value the intimacy!

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  • amyer

    Can definitely relate to this. Here’s my sweeping generalisation: I think in relationships women are more likely to give up the things they valued in their single lives in order to keep the peace or keep their ‘nest’ in order.

    The amount of time I spent cleaning each week dramatically increased after meeting my boyfriend because he’s a slob (and in denial of that fact). If you spend more time cooking/cleaning in a relationship than what you would being single, then it will come at the cost of another activity you enjoyed.

    The type of women who like to live alone (me!) are the ones who steadily sacrifice too much of themselves for love …which is silly because the love runs out when you don’t keep any left for yourself.

    [Reply]

    picardie.girl Reply:

    I love that idea – love runs out when you don’t keep any for yourself. I’m going to try to keep this in mind and keep more for myself :)

    [Reply]

  • joan l

    The thing about generalisations is that, in general, they are true! We don’t like to think that we can be ‘categorised’ by pre-conceived labels, but sadly, we can be. There will always be exceptions, and we all like to think that we are exceptional, but, in truth, we’re more main stream than we realise. Browning’s article resonated with me.

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  • Stephanie

    This is not to criticize you or your writing on a personal level, Sarah, but I don’t buy it, and I don’t like this style of argument, even though I, in fact, am a woman who loves to live alone, and my boyfriend the opposite. Many good counter-arguments have been made above, so I won’t repeat them, but I honestly think there’s a continuum of tastes/preferences for solitude amongst each of men and women. A great deal of what we see in the behaviour of men and women reflects social conditioning of earlier time periods. When I read this kind of stuff I tend to wonder why we don’t focus our energy instead on commonalities in the human experience.

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  • zumah

    Sarah!! lol lol..you get better and better!

    I love the new wave, sassy, you go girrrl feminists!

    Why bother telling the truth when you can just state the total opposite of the truth and everyone will gobble it up!

    Women aren’t as scared as men are of danger and being alone? nooo..that’s why since the beginning of time women have tended to form groups to maximise their chance of safety and survival and that of their offspring.

    It was the adrenelin junkie women fighting all those brutal wars throughout history!

    The pussified men were too busy in the kitchen baking cupcakes to feed Xena when she got home!

    Brave women endured the countless dangers of the seven seas in god awfull ships to further explore the world we live in!

    Women built the pyramids!
    It was really women who stormed the cliffs at Gallipoli!
    The firefighters who ran up into the world trade centre…all women!

    great article Sarah..really well thought out ;)

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  • http://www.thegypsygals.com Prime

    This may sound a generalization, but based from my experience as a solo female traveler, it seems that there are more women who travel on their own than men. I told my mom that it may be because men can’t live on their own because they need someone to look after them. My mother thinks that she has always known that women are more gutsy than men. but then, I’m also thinking that it might be cultural – in the Philippines, the women always take care of the men – sons, husbands, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, boyfriends….

    [Reply]

  • Myles

    Hi Sarah
    I’ll ignore the obvious blatant sexist remarks of the last post and add:
    I know I’ve changed my attitudes and needs have shifted as my life journey continues, been married and divoirced, and partnered up and left and round we go again. Yes can CHOOSE to live alone, but I am much more focused on having a loving partner to share life with and share the jobs etc. I need to be stimulated in a mental and other ways and appreciate that my partner needs SPACE to change and move and grow, its only FAIR. The journey need to meet our own expectations and I have enough problems concentrating on what I might need, without being a dependant to my partner as they find their own way. Somewhere in there LOVE is nutured and may grow to benefit both in the relationship. If the girls need their space at home well I head for the garage, golf course or mens shed. Thanks

    [Reply]

  • http://www.emmasternbergkinesiology.com Emma

    I love that this article came at a perfect time in my life!

    I have been living with my partner for 5 years in a house which we share with another person. I also work as a therapist and have a marketing company on the side so I am constantly around people. Recently, my partner was meant to go away for 6 months. I have to admit there was a large part of me which was excited! My relationship with my partner is wonderful, we are a great team, but we do work together, live together and he is constantly on my mind and in my world. Most of the time I love it.. but the thought of a bit of time alone.. ahh..

    It turned out that he didn’t end up going away and I have spent the last few days feeling guilty for feeling a little bit upset at the loss of my alone time. He, on the other hand, was absolutely delighted that we didn’t have to spend any time apart!
    Which in turn made me feel even more guilty!

    So, thank you for bringing to my consciousness this basic difference in our wirings! Guilt be gone :-)

    [Reply]

  • Anthony

    I was once talking to a lady about a whole range of issues, she told me that she did not have a place of her own in her house. Her husband had the shed and his own office, and she craved for a space of her own, where she could do her thing and then leave it to come back to when she was ready. I really agreed with what she was saying. I love having my library, my office a space where I can think, read, write undisturbed.

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  • michael

    Words fail me ..

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  • Tash

    Sarah, what is a ‘cleft arsehole’??

    [Reply]

  • Hanna

    So far so good – have noticed that my hormones are more balanced which may be because I have PCOS and sugar is a no-go . I am not cranky because I have done this quitting thing very slowly and gently. x

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  • em

    i cannot thank you enough for posting this and adding your remarks. i have been dating a guy for the last week and a half and last night when leaving his apartment he seemed so upset that i was choosing to go home and have my alone time after i had spent the last 24 hours with him. i couldn’t understand why he would be sad and didn’t get why he didn’t want his alone time as well.

    this article caused me to laugh out loud from the clearest answer i could have recieved, acknowledging that men just don’t need to be physically alone due to their ability to focus and tune out things, where as i as a woman really NEED to be physcially on my own so much of the day to stay focused on my own stuff. too much caring and tending to a guy or even a girlfriend makes my skin crawl and feel that i am being depleted of my inner resources.

    i am just so happy to know that other people even if just you and browning ackowledge this to be true. i felt so strange today like i had done something wrong by leaving his apartment to be with myself, but in general i feel so happy to be alone all the time. not needing to give of myself to others and be attentive to their emotions helps me to calm and be prepared for when i do want to provide emotional support to others.

    thank you for posting this..it really calmed my mind and allowed me to appreciate my needs as a woman and acknowledge that the guy i like really just wants me to be around because he feels safer and happier and i am not weird for needing my space to be alone. and that is okay with me!!

    [Reply]

  • Joy Bird

    I COMPLETELY relate to this article, as a woman. I LOVE my alone time and often reminisce about my single days. Yes, I was a single mom at the time, but I really LOVED those times of being able to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Now I live in a community home with my husband and kids and we are very active in our church. Although wonderful, I could use WAY more alone time. I am learning to take it, and there are so many things pulling my attention.

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  • so very much true

    as a straight man that hates to be alone, meeting women for me is very hard because of the way they have changed today. much more women out there today, are very nasty and play hard to get. i was married twice at one time, and i was a very caring and loving husband that never cheated on them. but both of them did cheat on me, and i did not do anything wrong on my part for this to happen to me. there are certainly a lot more women now that are lesbians, and this makes it much more difficult meeting the ones that are straight today. i cannot blame myself , for the garbage that they now turned out to be. it is hard to start a conversation with them, because they are very nasty and walk away from me. if i were a woman instead, they would fall in love with me. like i have said before, many women now are lesbians and will only go for women instead. i have to say, being single and alone for me sucks now more than ever because of my age which makes it worse. i am in my late fifties, and most of the men my age now are married with their own families since they were very lucky to have met the right woman for them. i will go out every single night not to be home by myself, since i have no one to stay home to. so i would have to say that many men like us do not like to be alone now, and the women on the other hand can stay alone and it would not bother them. men are definitely the much weaker sex, when being alone. i will certainly admit that. women are the much stronger sex, when it comes to being alone. men like the company of being with a woman than being alone, like i said, it sucks for me. if only god would not forget about me, and give me the luck to meet another good woman for me this time around. for me, it would be like winning the lottery.

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  • http://fromthekiwigirl.blogspot.com fromthekiwigirl

    I know exactly what you mean when you mentioned about men being alone while being with others. I have been in that situation and you have just clarified for me. Sitting on the couch watching tv..totally oblivious to surroundings. Conversations are to be done in front of tv. Quality time in front of tv. I understand the importance of unwinding from a very demanding job. But interacting with others and connection with your spouse is important part of any relationship. You have to create that time together.
    Also the space women need to make for themselves in the home. I cleaned out the spare room and turned it into my craft room. Well the responses were surprising, even the youngest male member of the family kicked up a fuss when I told the purpose of the room or the fact that I used the word ‘mine’. Ownership. Marking of territory. Boundaries. Maybe need to draw a venn diagram to denote ‘alone’ space and ‘shared’ space…that takes care of the physical elements…what about the rest, mentally, spiritually, intellectually?

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  • Euan

    I started living alone at the age of 39 for the first time. Straight out of home in to the army, barrack life, straight out of that in to a relationship that turned in to a good marraige which kinda petered out (we’re still friends)

    My experience doesn’t match what you’re saying. Three years later, I have never been happier with my place in life as I am now. I LOVE living alone and will not change that. That doesn’t mean I’m a hermit though, far from it. I have good friends, 2 of which are men who also love their single live living alone and I socialize well.

    Indeed on the contary, the single women I know through work and aquaintances do not like living alone and don’t enjoy it. Maybe it’s just the circles I move in but my experience has been the opposite of what you’ve described.

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  • http://facebook Veronica Cormier

    Very interesting. I can see the logic in this article.

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  • AGP

    That is completely wrong, it is actually opposite. Men prefer to be alone, are functioned and wired to be alone, that is why we communicate less and don’t need to be with friends a lot. That is also why there is a bigger chance that men will drop friends to please their women but not the other way around, it is also why men might move out of town for their women compare to many women.

    Research shows that men prefer being alone and are create of solitude, reflection and isolation. Not that it is completely correct as most of these things mentioned above is related to priority and mindset, not really gender.

    [Reply]

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  • Andy

    Hi Sarah,
    I’m afraid I don’t agree with you, as I am a male with a stronger feminine side. I don’t need a cave and I am very comfortable with my own company. I’ve always had pets and I think they help enormously.
    If you were my girlfriend I would show you how a girl should be treated by a man because I understand the thought process.
    It’s a shame I am in Melbourne – would you consider moving?
    Cheers
    Andy

    [Reply]

  • so very true

    it is very true, in my opinion. i am a straight man that is looking to meet a good woman. i go out a lot, but many woman today are so dam nasty and have a very bad attitude problem that i have noticed. it seems women do not need men anymore. then again, many women are lesbians today.

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  • billy says

    lets face it, LONELINESS is a serious thing today. many people can stay alone, and many can’t. i am a straight man that REALLY hates to stay alone, and i will CERTAINLY admit it. when you get to be a certain age, it is GOOD to have a woman in life to SHARE it with. it hurts me to see so many men that were VERY LUCKY to have met the right woman for them, and have a FAMILY as well. i have to say that i CERTAINLY would have WANTED the same thing, and when i was MARRIED at one time i thought that the woman that i married was going to be the RIGHT ONE for me. but is was not the case, since she CHEATED on me. i never ever CHEATED on her because i was VERY HAPPY with my life with her at the time, and i was very COMMITTED AND LOVED HER VERY MUCH. now meeting another woman is VERY HARD for me, but i will just go out and hope for the BEST.

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  • Anthony

    I think there is some truth here Sarah, but what is truth? Truth is not accepted because it is true, but more likely because it is accepted to be true. Men and multi-skilling. My mother died when she was quite young with a young family and my father took on the task of raising the large family alone while employed in a demanding joy. I watched him daily for many years managing so many tasks at once, and never faulting. I learnt from him.

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  • A Baldheaded Man

    I have lived alone for two years now since my divorce and loving it. I take my 8 year old daughter to school everyday and spend time with her every other weekend. We have a lot of fun together. I have absolutely no interest in dating anyone right now. i’m a natural introvert. i rather focus on my daughter, hobbies and career. Its nice to be in a drama-free situation.

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  • http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2012/01/why-women-like-to-be-alone-and-men-dont/ Mabel

    I want to give testimony of how Esango priest brought back my divorce husband back to me,were married for 9 years then we break up, due to the fact that he never love me again.
    i have many felling for this my ex because we have gotten 2 kids together and i will want us to come back again. but all way i tried for us to come back all went in vain. i was confused and sad because i needed him back into my life, so i decided to contact Esango priest, i never believe in spell casting i just decide to make an effort and see if something can come out of it. i contacted them and they told me that they needed to cast return back of love to him, they did the spell and after 2 week my ex called that he still love me and wanted us to be together again,what surprise me most was that he was married to another woman, and after the spell casting he divorce the woman for me that same week. it was the spell i cast on him that brought him back again. we later got married again and now the kids are happy that their father is back to their mother again, i really thank this Esango priest for bringing back my ex husband to me. i want you my fellow women who want back their divorce husband to contact Esango priest for his return, do not lose hope you can make this great step as i did then your ex husband will come back to you. and also your ex wife too okay,
    his email address id is esangopriest@hotmail.com, i want you to contact him and he will solve your problem for you and also he can do any kind of spell you want to cast.

    [Reply]

  • russ

    Im a male and Ive lived alone for 7 years. During that time Ive been dating a woman for 4 years with neither of us wanting to live together. Sure, she stays over once or twice a week, we go away together for a week ata time or going camping for 5 days and get along just fine. I just think we value our own space?

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  • mark says

    many of us straight men that are single, do want companionship. it is no fun being alone for me, especially going out by myself since most of my friends my age are settled down. i was married one time myself, and i was a very caring and loving husband. but she was the one that cheated on me. i even hoped that i was going to have a family, but that never happened. the men out there that are divorced and have children, should be very thankful that you have your children to see. i wish that i would have had children, at least i would not be alone now. finding the right woman again is very difficult today for me again, since there are so many women today that seem to have such an attitude problem, and are so very hard to start a conversation with. many women today are so very much uneducated, and they are not really looking for men like they once did. now i just go out and hope for the best.

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  • BILL SAYS

    there are so many low life women out there anyway, so finding a real decent one is like finding a needle in a haystack. many women today are LESBIANS, since more and more women are now into each other making it even harder for us STRAIGHT MEN.

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  • Aaron

    Sorry, I don’t think there is anything to this. I’d say it’s purely selection bias. Someone who likes to live alone and enjoys it, sees lots of friends with similar tastes, and feels that this represents “women” and “men”.
    In my case, I went from quite liking living alone to finding it unpleasant. So I’ve seen both sides of the fence. I know a fair number of women and men who like to live alone.

    [Reply]

  • JAY T

    well this certainly explains why married men live longer than single men, doesn’t it? when your alone and single like me, who do you really have?, no one. and when you are married, you have your family to be very thankful for. makes a lot of sense doesn’t it?

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  • dora

    ‘My name is Dora I am from United States, I was in a relationship with Ben and we loved and cherished ourselves for 3 good years and every thing was going on smoothly but February 14, 2012 a day I can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a date but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a trial because I love Ben very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and a caring heart…i am testifying to this great spell caster ATINGO TEMPLE. if you need his help you can contact him on atingospiritualtemple@live.com

    [Reply]

  • lauren

    Dear friends, my name is Lauren from united states, i have to give this miraculous testimony,which is so unbelievable until now. i had a problem with my husband 3months ago, which lead to our break up. when he broke up with me, i was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me,my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine Allen told me about a spell caster who helped him in the same problem too.i email Prophet zanzibar the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. before i knew what was happening my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me in just 2days and was so happy to have him back to me. we have two kids together and we are happy with ourselves. thanks to Prophet Zanzibar for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work,If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is: zanzibartemple@gmail.com

    [Reply]

  • http://www.mikewilde.com mw

    Don’t know about the majority .. but defo a healthy minority.

    [Reply]

  • SANDRA

    Hello! I want to share my testimony with all of you. Dr booma gave me the possibility to start my new and happy life with Michael. The commitment and Marriage spells worked beyond my imagination. 5th of June will be always in my memory as the start of our new life. We had the most beautiful wedding and I was in the seventh heaven from happiness. I am sure that this feeling will be with us during whole our life and will never leave us. We’ll remain grateful forever. Please my friends if you need the help of this man just contact him true email boomaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

    [Reply]

  • Chris

    “Single men could not care less about any of the above lifestyle features…”

    What a fatuous generalisation/remarks/utter unmitigated crap!

    Perhaps that’s typical of the men you know (or ‘boys’ as you so condescendingly term them – no issues there?!)

    I’m a man who is very happy living on his own, is certainly not a “mummy’s boy”, can cook, sew, and… gasp… clean, tidy, dust and hoover his home and (get this) wash and iron his own clothes! (And EVEN wash and shave!)

    Pass the smelling salts sisters!

    I’ve lived abroad for several years and speak 4 languages (more or less fluently), whilst running two businesses.

    “Most men seem unable to live alone for longer than, say, at the outside … three months.” (Perhaps you mean you?!)

    I’ve lived alone for much longer than this, so put away your castrating irons and open your mind to the real world.

    There are plenty of PEOPLE who hate living on their own and plenty of PEOPLE (including you and me) who love it – incidentally, I enjoy it for exactly the same reasons as you…

    I love the freedom it gives me to regulate the amount of interaction I have with people.

    Typical lazy “journalism” from the “all men are bastards” collective… (again, SOME are and SOME aren’t, as is the case with women…)

    The moral of the story? Don’t give up the day job…

    [Reply]

  • Mike

    Really? Where is the research to support this, and as someone else commented above – lazy journalism. This isn’t a preference that is as clear as a divide between the sexes and has far more to do with people’s individual preferences and insecurities. I hate to say it but I think the article is utter tosh, and will soon post a link to my own article on the subject which I now feel compelled to write.

    [Reply]

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  • AbsolutelyRight55

    for a straight guy like me being alone is certainly no fun at all. and i was married at one time before my wife of 15 years cheated on me. i was a very caring and loving husband that was very much committed to her as well. many of us straight guys that i will admit, are the weaker sex when we are alone, and most of the women are the much stronger sex. i am in my late fifties now, so it is much harder for me to find the right woman to connect with again. sometimes i feel as if God is punishing me, and i certainly don’t want to be alone the remaining years of my life left. especially when i see so many very lucky men and women that were very fortunate to have met one another and have a family too. i always wanted to have a family, and my chances of that happening for me now is very slim. it is not fair for certain people to have it, and people like us that can’t. we are no different than the ones that have it, and many people like us didn’t ask to be born in the first place either. the way i feel, God should not make people be born if they can’t find love and happiness. and meeting a good woman is very hard for me again since i seem to meet the women that are very nasty to me, especially with the very bad attitude problem which many of them have these days. makes me wonder that many of them must be gay to begin with. then again, i do know other guys that have the same problem like myself.

    [Reply]

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  • D.O

    Interesting spin on aloneness. I would’ve thought the opposite applies, that women tend more for the social than the alone. But that too is a wide generalization. Men love social that’s cock related after a break-up. After three months of this we’ll really get down to relationship dealing and moving completely on if we haven’t already. As testosterone decreases so our need for aloneness grows, to the point that love no longer becomes essential but a luxury. This type of man can happily live alone in exile committed to their own welfare and self-improvement, occasionally on a booty or hooker call or simply the lovely deep company of a woman once in a while with out the baggage. Of course this is all generalization, but that’s the context of this article.

    [Reply]

  • franker

    When the man I love broke up with me, my world fell apart. I had gone

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    that he is sorry for leaving me in the cold. Help me to say Thank

    DR SERAPHIN of SERAPHINTEMPLE his Email address seraphintemple@gmail.com OR mobile number +2348050354815

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  • jane smith

    i am hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr okojie for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they caste the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he Dr okojie caste on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr okojie for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact drokojiehealinghome@gmail.com. and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay. he is specialized in solving of other problems including the following:
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  • Natalie

    I can’t hide this amazing testimony that took place in my life. A prophet named saibaba helped me to bring back my love who left me while I was six months pregnant and went on a peace keeping mission in new zealand. We both love each other and it was a shock to me and it really broke my heart. I tried to call him and both of his lines were disconnected. I tried to reach him on social networks but he deleted me off of them. I tried to reach his parents and they told me that their son said that he does not love me and does not want to see me and they do not know what is wrong. I cried and cried everyday because I loved him very much. Until I gave birth and the baby was one year old, I could not get my love back. Again, I was confused. I do not know what to do and I also lost my job and I have no money to take care of the baby. I was miserable in life so I cried to my sister and told her my problem and said that she knew of one lord prophet that prayed for her when she could not get pregnant. I contacted him by email and he said he will help me and told me that a revelation came regarding my husband and marriage problem, he will help me fast and pray so my man will come back to me and be mine forever. It was a great surprise to me that everything that he said came to pass. My man came back to me immediately, saying that I should forgive him. I am sending a very big thank you to this prophet. I pray for him to live long and do more of his spiritual work. If you have any kind of problem disturbing you in life, you have to contact this prophet! He can help you.contact him through this email; templesaibaba@yahoo.com

    [Reply]

  • Smiler

    100% agree – great article, spot on! :)

    [Reply]

  • kevin reilly

    I agree Chris. It certainly seems the other way around in my opinion…certainly from the women I have met in my life. The media, and particularly the internet, is full of women trying to convince themselves that men need them much more than they need men. As in this article implies that men can’t stand being alone whereas women can…which is complete hokem to be honest.

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  • kevin reilly

    well said. Usual feminist propaganda.

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  • kevin reilly

    pretty sexist comments their al. Of all the couples I know, its the men who do all the cooking, cleaning, child rearing etc. You really need to get yourself into the 21st century.

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  • kevin reilly

    typical feminist shaming comment…which actually doesn’t work.

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  • kevin reilly

    as opposed to the ‘princess syndrome’? Also, why is it that it is almost always the man that is being pressured into a marriage by the woman, especially considering the risk involved for the man.

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  • kevin reilly

    how do men benefit materially from marriage? Last time I checked it was the man who brings most of the assets to the marriage…house, salary etc? Also, regards your psychological comment, how about the high number of men who lose out on these assets along with children when it comes to marriage breakdown which is currently running at 50% in the US? It seems men have a lot more to lose when it comes to marriage materially and mentally.

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  • kevin reilly

    and men have a shorter life span than women full stop…by a full 7 years? I wonder why that is?

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  • kevin reilly

    and yet men will lose most of their assets and custody of their children in 90% of divorce cases. 40% of DV is thought to be female on male yet due to lack of funding and media attention, nothing is being done about it. There are similar statistics for female on male rape. Male suicide rapes are far higher than female, yet all we ever hear about is female suicide, similarly with homelessness. But I guess that is all ‘good news’ as you call it.

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  • kevin reilly

    I have experienced the exact opposite. Having travelled the world twice, I rarely came across single female travellers. They tended to hang around more in groups while single male travellers were much more common.

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  • kevin reilly

    I completely agree. I think this it just another female article trying to convince themselves that they are somehow superior to men and that men crave their company.

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  • kevin reilly

    of course it is AGP. This is just another attempt by a female writer trying to convince us all that men need them more than they need us….which is complete BS to be honest.

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  • kevin reilly

    also, men risk so much in hooking up with a woman, especially marriage. With divorce rates running at 50%, and men losing the house, assets and custody of kids in 94% of the cases, it really has become too risky for men.

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  • kevin reilly

    that’s in 50% of marriages Jayt. In the other 50%, men lose out financially and mentally through divorce.

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