An eccentric and some e-loveliness

Posted on March 14th, 2013

I have days when I resent blogging. I’ve been blogging now for almost four years, 3-4 posts every week, largely unpaid for my toils, sometimes uprooted by trolls. I wonder why I do it. Some days. I mean, why would any sane person expose their controversial brain farts, their innermost reflections and their ugliest fears to hundreds of thousands of strangers each month who are then free to pull apart such thoughts and farts among their friends and in their own heads? My family ask me this often in their unaffected, un-social-media’d way. But, then, they know I have always been a slightly unhinged personality.

LynoWritingAtCavallero

But just as I’m about to throw in the towel, I get reminded of why I blog and why I’m so bloody blessed.

I blog because it allows me to help people. I don’t have dibs on myself. I’m largely a selfish, tight, hard-to-live-with, neurotic human. But I get the biggest kick out of helping other raw, open humans who, too, struggle at times just to get out of bed each day and go through the human experience. Nothing else matters. This is my dharma. And, as I say, just when I doubt myself – working as I do in my isolated, tight, selfish way – I’ll be reminded of said dharma. Someone will come up to me in the supermarket and tell me their story. Or I’ll hear about how a post I wrote connected two strangers on opposite sides of the world, who then helped each other out…generously, openly, lovingly.

This happened a year or so ago when a reader – Gordon – followed my advice to get a VA in a second-world country. Gordon was so touched by the VAs work and life story, he and his wife went to visit him in Thailand and helped him start up his own company, which enabled him to get married. Gordon and his wife went to the wedding, too. He shared this story with Jo and I. It made me weep at the time.

It happened again this week. SMACK BANG as I needed it. Reader Soula contacted me and asked if I’d mind writing to a young family member who was in hospital suffering from depression. She thought a note from me might cheer her up. She likes my blog and book.

I wrote to the relative. I checked first to see if she’d mind my sharing what I shared with her:

“I thought I’d just do a shout out to you and say I’m thinking about you. …I get low. Real low. I sink and sink and when I was younger it made me panic and I felt hopeless. My Dad used to say, “this too shall pass”…it’s taken 20 years for me to work out he was right. I don’t know if this helps you at all….but it’s from my depths and despair that the greatest stuff in my life has flourished. Not immediately; sometimes years later. The whole IQS thing launched from my getting sick. So did my blog. I’ve witnessed the pattern over and over now and have to acknowledge that this is how MY life rolls. It’s not pleasant, but it’s the way it is. I’m just like that. You might be too.”

Soula then replied to say thank you. Soula’s an artist. As well as a caring relative. And she told me she’d sent me an etching she’d done – that’s it above. I’m awkward about accepting gifts. But this one came with a story.

And sometimes life unfurls so wonderfully that you have to fly with it.

This is the story. The lady in Soula’s picture is Lynn. Says Soula:

“I used to sneak drawings of her from the other side of our local cafe [Cavalerro in Melbourne] and then one day, when we were sitting next to each other, she noticed my hobbling. She asked me what was wrong and we chatted briefly. I don’t think more than a couple of weeks passed and she landed on my doorstop with a pile of papers about my condition that she copied from the library (she had access to the med journals as she was writing her book on the comfort women of Japan. On top of the pile of papers was a full dish of lasagne! “You’re going to need help,” she said standing there in the most magnificent 30′s – 40′s vintage gear that she wears most days. She was on The Collectors for her exquisite clothing. She is so eccentric and now one of my dearest friends after agreeing to pose for one drawing that ended up a solo exhibition!”

And so now I have a picture of an eccentric woman who writes in cafes. I like this. I’m not sure if my words helped Soula’s relative. But the whole encounter was a wonderful unfurling. I’m glad I flew with it.

For those intrigued about Soula’s hobbling, her condition is called Pudendal Neuralgia. You can read more about it here, and pass on the info to anyone you know with “unexplained pelvic pain”.  Or follow Soula on twitter: @MyPelvicPain

We never know where life’s unfurling will take things, hey!

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  • Heather

    Indeed! It’s so helpful to have the awareness that you speak of here-without it we are just pushed and pulled around by the tough times. With awareness comes quiet confidence and the ability to hunker down, ride out the storm and get on with the things that personally matter. In the end it’s not that it’s all good, it’s that it IS. How wonderful that your blog helped you to help someone and then I got to read this story which is so very helpful to me.

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  • lopsy

    Bless you Sarah and your fantastic blog…..you’ve helped me in many ways as well over the two years I’ve been reading your blog. I am quite a private person and while I cant relate to you honest sharing to all of us through your writings…. I relate to you deeply in other ways. Don’t stop what you do….. we all appreciate it. Thanks for your raw honesty and exquisite stories and thought-provoking and sensitively conveyed brain farts!! You are not neurotic, in my mind, just a very normal, down to earth woman, not to mention a cool chick. You help on me on horrific Thyroidy days and my Why am I not like other people days and also educate and inspire me. Keep on truckin kiddo!! xx

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  • Meg

    This is a new way that those of us lacking in human connection can find it Sarah and feel a part of a community and a conversation. For every comment on your blog there will be many, many more conversations and connections about and around your post… That night be another way to look at the benefits of blogging x

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  • Ian

    Another ray of sunshine. Thank you …

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  • Chloe

    Thank you Sarah for reminding me again that everything is as it should be and that I need to get over this incessant desire to change, be better, and be someone else. I get so wrapped up in it that sometimes I forget that I am here, right now, in this moment. You have inspired me in many ways over the past couple of years since I discovered this blog and I sincerely hope you never give it up!

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  • http://www.mikewilde.com mw

    Heading off to teach some literacy to migrants ..
    Sat around on a set all day yesterday in my underwear ..
    another day.. another dharma
    Enjoyed the read .. thanks !

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  • http://www.yoginime.wordpress.com Michelle

    That’s why we love reading your blog Sarah – for its honesty and the way that it makes us (me!) seem less… I don’t know – messed up? I don’t mean that you sound messed up in any way AT ALL. But most people you meet seem so bloody together, and sorted, and successful, and they know where they are going and what they are doing. And most of the time I’m making it up as I go along and sometimes feel pretty pathetic about that. Why aren’t I sorted and together and successful? At other times I feel, well that’s just me and there’s a sorted-ness in knowing that.

    I’m rambling, but I suppose what I’m saying is, we all find comfort that you and others don’t have that facade and it’s ok to express doubts, fears and all that.

    And you write beautifully too. I love that story about the VA in Thailand – gorgeous!

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  • Katie

    Hi Sarah
    I love your blog. I don’t usually comment but I felt like I needed to say thank you so much. Over the last two years, I have been following your blog and you have helped me so much on my journey to healing ibs and endo . I really appreciate the time that you have taken to write and share your thoughts. Thank you.

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  • http://www.thehappyeater.com.au Sam

    Hi,
    This is so weird… there’s a long story behind this, but I’ve been following your blog for ages and you’ve changed my life. One of the changes I’ve made is that I quit my high powered corporate job in Dec and now I work part time (while trying to build up my own business in the other part of my time) running a medical practice that specialises in Pudendal Neuralgia.
    The practice is one of the best in the country, and at a staff meeting last night we were talking about a patient who has had PN pain since age 14 (now 22) that went poorly diagnosed for 4 years by doctors before finally being treated at WHRIA. He had full perenium numbness from it, and is now back bike riding 4 hours a day (previously in agonising pain as soon as he sat on a bike). So they can do amazing things.

    I’ve sent the details to Soula. Hopefully a chance for me to help someone as you have helped me.
    Thank you for sharing, as always.

    xx

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    Mel Reply:

    Yes, WHRIA is amazing. Best professor, gentle, caring and compassionate. Dedicated to women’s health. They come highly recommended.

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  • Nicole

    Sarah, i’m glad you do what you do! I’ve seen some of the not so nice comments and I wonder why? If you dont like what you read then don’t read – just go away…! I’ve been following your blog for more than a year, i have your ebooks and the print book too! I want you to know i think your’e fabulous! You are honest and raw – no bullshit.
    You are fantastic, don’t ever stop what you do…!

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  • Diana

    I’ve only just discovered your blog in the last month. I’ve bought your book and now on the detox plan. It’s been challenging and in the last few days have fallen off the bandwagon but have picked myself up again and sticking to it. Thank you for being in my life and sharing your wisdom and knowledge with us. You truly are an inspiration.

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  • picardie.girl

    What is a VA, please?

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    Michelle Reply:

    Virtual Assistant

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    picardie.girl Reply:

    Thanks!

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  • http://www.thespaces-between.com natalie

    Heart warming. It’s all about paths crossed, conencting as you said finding our way through this journey. Thanks x

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  • http://www.fitnesslifeblog.com Tony

    Hi Sarah, like these other comments, we really appreciate all your blogs. Alot of what you blog about is what we all go through, so it is a huge help to get good advice and know that we are not the only ones who struggle at times. Through your blog our family eat alot healthier which is great, and I was introduced to Gary Gorrow who has been able to help me with my meditation… Keep up the great work :)

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  • http://www.pudendalnerve.com.au Soula

    Honestly, i just don’t know how to express my gratitude for Sarah’s gorgeous post this morning. I’m a little overwhelmed for you Sarah, for me, for all the pelvic pain sufferers, for everyone suffering chronic illness that may feel a little better after reading this post and the gorgeous comments.

    Our modern day forms of ‘personal measure’ in the form of likes, subscribers, hits, shares and followers often leave us feeling disappointed as they’re not a real measure. You can’t measure touching someone’s heart with any software or internet tool. And as Michelle stated, so many people can seem so together but in reality we’re all human. We all have our fears, our weaknesses our personal battles which is what you bring to light Sarah. You’re real.

    As for Sam, I know and have spoken of WHRIA and the wonderful Dr Thierry Vancaillie (he’ll know who I am if you ask him) on my blog and to anyone who contacts me regarding PN from Sydney. In fact I contacted Thierry when my nerve block wore off last year and I had booked a trip and couldn’t fit in to the hospitals here for the procedure and he kindly offered to fit me in. How dear is he? The whole team up there are amazing at what you do and how you are progressing on the issue too. I’m in good hands here, thank you for your offer to help. Anyone can read more on the link Sarah provided as I am making progress and it’s important that people hear that. You can get better with PN.

    xxx

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  • http://www.annasavanna.blogspot.com Anna

    So strange and coincidental…
    I am a Pudendal Neuralgia person too. Some days I wake up and wish it was all just a bad dream. Today I was sitting here and had the thought that I might not ever heal, that I might get worse. Then I told myself that I would need to accept these things if they happened but never look back, never dwell upon the fact that my “old life” was gone and instead to try to make as happy a life for myself and others as I could in these new conditions I found myself in.
    And then, for the first time in a while, I visited your site and saw that you had been in contact with Soula, whose name I know through my own research on this condition. It was a nice coincidence and was really good for me to see such a little talked about condition mentioned on a very well known site like this.
    Your words to Soula’s relative were so wise and true. In my darker moments I will remember to tell myself that this too shall pass.

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    Kate Reply:

    I have pudendal neuraligia too, and was at the hospital for more treatment yesterday, so this really resonates, and has helped me to start to climb out of the dark depths I sink to following such appointments. I’m standing to write this, as I can’t sit, so even reading people saying “as I sit here” makes me literally weep in frustration and sadness for my former life. As utterly selfish as it is, when I am reminded that there are others, many many others, with this and other invisible conditions I feel the heaviness I carry around lifting, just a little. The same goes for this blog Sarah- being reminded that there so many people with debilitating chronic conditions makes me feel less alone AND I think Ireminds me to bee less selfish, and try to give what I can in life. I am no longer hoping that the pain will pass, forever, but when it’s at it’s worse “this will pass, breathe” is my mantra.

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    Soula Reply:

    Dear Anna and Kate,
    I feel your pain in my backside (nice hey?) but you will both know what I mean. When you feel any emotion the first place sadly is the painful one that tells you. But please don’t stop fighting this issue. We need to accept that we have changed but always stay hopeful that we will get better. I’m making progress but at times I look at the help I have and wonder if I’m not actually getting better but rather really learning to live with this horrid condition. Kate hang in there, treatments bring on the flare ups and often the relief is felt later. My last nerve block took 5 weeks to kick in but when it did I was able to walk a little barefoot for the first in 6 years. Think of this like chipping teeny pieces of a huge glacier. Everything, everyday, all the attempts, the ups the downs all go to helping. Even if they don’t feel that way, they are progress.

    Love and pain relief to both of you and thank you for your dear words Anna. x
    ps Kate, I’m sitting on my legs on the chair (coccyx hovering) to write this!!!

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    Kate Reply:

    Thanks Soula-I’m feeling better today – it was actually Professor Vancaille that I saw this week, though again I ended up with no nerve block (due to no pain at that time) – hence, the extra horrid mood. I also have read your site, and love your straightforward approach to coping, and it’s so, so encouraging to hear of your progress! xk

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    Soula Reply:

    Hi Kate,
    My block is administered under a general anaesthetic so that my Dr can stimulate the different paths of the nerve whilst lifting me slightly out of the anaesthetic just enough for me to reply whether it hurts or not. So I’m under deep, he moves the needle, stimulates, wakes me a little, asks if it hurst ‘there’, i answer and he keeps going until i feel the pain! With the anaesthetist’s hand on the ‘volume’ i’m put into a deeper sleep as soon as they hear ‘there!’ and they inject the exact spot. Quite precise and very effective. As you say sometimes I head in to the appointments and if for example I’m left in theatre lying down on my front for long enough the pain subsides so you can’t explain where it is. I hope my experience gives hope and encourages. I always hoped I’d get better but I honestly didn’t expect to get to the point I’m at now. I was unable to do anything and now I’m managing PN and creating again. I do have the most amazing husband though, I wouldn’t be like this without his daily help.

  • Louise

    Lovely post!!

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  • Lucy

    I completely get what Michelle (above) is saying.

    Sarah, you have an amazing ability to write openly, honestly and consciously without ever coming across as judgemental, which a lot of bloggers fall victim to. I absolutely love reading this blog everyday and will continue to do so as long as you keep writing it!

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  • http://discombobula.blogspot.com Sue

    I read your blog and sometimes I get frustrated at you because you seem all shiny. I know, right? I think it’s because you’re young and pretty and have books you’ve written that people read and you’re on TV and blah blah blah and I get jealous because I am still trying to work out my complex health problems after 14 years of on-again/off-again issues and lower-rung energy and issues with depression, anxiety, adrenals, pyroluria, and just plain bonkerness.

    I was just talking to someone yesterday on Facebook about a mutual online friend who is starting to basically shit me. Everything he posts on there is about reminders of taking notice of nature, of immersing ourselves in her, of the beauty that we are a part of. All wonderful and beautiful stuff that I ascribe to. But where is his humanity in all of that? Where is him, and his struggle? If he just gives the light without also giving the dark, then I start to wonder. When it comes down to it, I really don’t want to accept advice from anybody unless they are also willing to share with me some of their shit. There is a human propensity to get to a certain point and then think that you’re becoming some sort of a teacher or a leader so that therefore you should start hiding away your bad bits, the bits that make you think, “I can’t write about that!” We all do it, right? But so do politicians, and how many of us want to listen to *them*?

    I’m so glad that you and everybody else who has courage are willing to share their vulnerabilities and flaws. There is something exquisite about people who are willing to be Velveteen Rabbits. It is inspiring. It reminds me to not hide myself away, but to keep on writing about those things that people might harangue me for, but which might also help other people too. So thanks, Sarah :)

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    Karen Reply:

    Thanks Sue, I’ve started to write some blogs with a new website in mind and have been feeling a bit scared about revealing the darkness. You’ve just reinforced how important sharing this is to be truly authentic and open.

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  • Mike Spadaccini

    Hey Sarah, your blog helps many. By putting yourself out there with your personal aspects shows you speak from the heart. The knockers of the world through their ignorance & lack of willingness to seek the facts, will always be there to test ones mettle. Even so, they too will one day have the penny drop & seek the help of people like you.
    How do I know? I was once one of those people. That’s why it’s so important that you continue your quest, just as i do with mine.

    Cheers Sarah
    Your a champ

    Mike Spud

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    You were a knocker of the world? Or a person like me?

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  • http://www.fussyguide.com Christina from Fussy Guide

    Lovely Post Sarah – I think it’s so important to step back like you have once in a while.

    On a personal note, I can say that you’ve inspired me to try out many new things, all of which have been enjoyable.

    I’ve actually just posted today on the funny/odd side of experimenting with health tips and tricks, many of which I’ve learned from this blog :)

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  • Anne

    Hi Sarah
    I have been reading your blog for some time, and at 52 am probably somewhat older than your usual readership (trust me though, feels no different to 42, no different to 32!). So often I totally agree with what you have written, from food to lifestyle to philosophy, and it is almost with disappointment that I tell you that I don’t think the answers will ever appear, it never gets easier, it always feels as if the journey has only just begun. In being honest though, and bravely so, it always helps others to do the same. Fortitude, courage and conviction!

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    And to you, too, Anne!! xx

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  • Mia Bluegirl

    Isn’t it nice how you have collected this delightfully varied and charming group of readers, Sarah? Sometimes I see your readership as Raggy Dolls, did anyone else grow up with that show? – because we all seem to have things wrong with us – autoimmune diseases, endocrine disorders, injuries, illnesses, and now this Pudendal Neuralgia. Which I have never heard of before but am charmed at sufferers making butt jokes with each other. If it weren’t for you, Sarah, these butt jokes would go un-laughed at and it would be a crime against humanity!

    Seems we are a slightly dinged up and damaged bunch, but all heart, and they way people try to help each other on here is always uplifting.

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    Raggy Dolls. I like that. And I love that we all meet here to talk…well, bum stuff and stuff. And I love you’ve been here on the bumpy, dinged up journey for so long x

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  • Leanne

    Thank you Sarah for the lift I needed on a day when I have been very down – keep up the great work :)

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  • Danielle

    Sarah, you really just are a top human being.
    Honest, unapologetic, generous and grounded.
    These are the characteristics consistently present in your writing and the traits that I work towards encompassing one day myself.
    Thank you for the ongoing wisdom and honesty you bestow upon your readers.
    Love Danielle

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  • Rachel

    I love your blog. I love it because its honest, genuine and sincere. Please don’t give up and thank you.

    As for your book…. I love the pictures and the idea…. but blimey its hard!

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  • toni

    Hi Sarah,
    I think your ability to touch and inspire people is a true gift, of course that is going to piss certain people off. Oh well. I started reading your blog around the time you quit sugar, and thought wow! that’s amazing, but put it in the WAY too hard basket. About 8 months later I was bored at work one day, and decided to have a look at your blog for the first time since January, to see if you stayed off sugar. Something in me clicked, as without premeditation, IQS then and there! That was August 2011, and I guess the beginning of my journey. In May 2012 I began to study nutritional medicine fulltime. I am almost 45 years old and a mother of 2. I love that I’ve given myself a second chance, and I love that in no small way, it was reading your blog that set me on this path! Keep on blogging, don’t waste your gift x p.s. I am still off the white stuff

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  • Steph

    I realise that life is a journey, time marches on, all good things must come to an end and so on. But I for one, will be devastated* when the time comes for you to move on from blogging.

    *Supportive, but devastated.

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    Sarah Wilson

    Sarah WilsonSarah Wilson Reply:

    That sent tingles up my spine. Thank you Steph. So generous of you.

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  • Karen miller

    Sarah your blog has given me so much comfort during the real depths of a protracted and strange illness. You have also inspired me to quit sugar, train with IIN, experiment with different ways of eating and exercising…..don’t give up!

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  • http://rebeccapascoe.com bec

    Thanks for this great post sarah. I have the same qualms about blogging – i get all motivated to get the good word out there and blog away furiously, then get all un-inspired and start wondering what the point is. Your writing has been great encouragement for me to pick up the metaphorical pen again and start writing about what I love and believe in… even if no-one is reading it!
    Keep up the great work,
    Cheers bec

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  • http://Www.ingredientsofwellness.com Angie

    Like many many others who have commented I thank you Sarah for continuing to write and for finding these special moments as the trigger to keep you going. I found your blog some months ago and it has been a great inspiration to help me establish mine. Torn between the desire to provide a purely educational site on wellness, and marine conservation, or to make it personal, your weekly email helps make me realize that I can and should have an element of personal as part of the education and research.
    Thank you and please keep going:)

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  • http://www.withgraceandeve.blogspot.com Elisa

    Sarah, thank you for sharing this! Yours was the first blog I ever read, and one of the reasons I began blogging. That connection and community blogging can create is so uplifting and inspiring. I’m grateful to be part of it x

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  • http://Sweetlifesisters.blogspot.com Linley

    Thankyou Sarah, beautiful post as always. Don’t stop, you have helped so many, me included. So thank you again. X

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  • Pingback: An eccentric and some e-loveliness.. thank you Sarah Wilson | pudendalnerve.com.au

  • Shari

    Sarah I can’t thank you enough for this amazing website, your blogging, your IQS cookbook, etc. I am coming up to the end of week 5 of quitting sugar (eventhough I had already phased out refined sugars many months ago and just had to give up honey, maple syrup and coconut sugar) and I can’t tell you the amazing difference it has made. You have been a great inspiration for me, as I suffer from anxiety and am currently investigating the possiblity of thyroid or adrenal issues that may be causing an array of not so nice physical symptoms I am experiencing. Thanks to you, I have discovered a fantasitc naturopath – Angela Hywood, who is helping me get to the bottom of my health issues.

    I love getting my email at the end of each week to notify me of all the great things you have written about throughout the week. Keep up the great work – it is very much appreciated ;)

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  • http://haidalyn-mortgages.com Haidalyn

    Sarah, you are wonderful. Please don’t ever stop blogging! I can’t tell you how many times I have read your posts and felt this immediate and gut kin-ship with you and your sufferings and adventures. For those of us who are sensitive, driven, artistic, neurotic and auto-immune, you are a beacon of light. You’ve taught me alot, and I thank you sincerely for sharing your highs, lows, and introspections. Shine on, little star!

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  • Amitie

    Your honesty and integrity help us to be the same.
    Thank you Sarah

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  • maria

    I have never commented before – but today I must … Sarah I hope you know how many lightbulbs just switched on reading this … keep up the fantastic work … you really are an inspiration to many.

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  • Janetta

    Sarah

    You are a magnificent human being; notably for being so honest and sharing ‘warts and all’. This is especially impressive from someone who is a celebrity and so god-damn attractive. I grew up thinking beautiful people had it all… ha! You make the rest of us feel human. Please don’t stop writing – we would all be heart-broken.
    Janetta

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  • Dell

    I love you and the time we have shared xx

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  • Angela

    I love all of your blogs Sarah but this one really touched me! Thank you is all I can say!

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  • Veronica

    Hi Sarah

    Your blogs are always inspirational, thanks.

    You sound like a true INFJ /Myer Brigg & there are not many of you around but your impact is deep, widespread and always movingly felt…& mostly never forgotten.

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  • Veronica

    Sarah have you read Quiet by Susan Cain?

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  • http://www.pudendalnerve.com.au Soula

    and have you read this: The Gift. A brilliantly orchestrated defense of the value of creativity and of its importance in a culture increasingly governed by money and overrun with commodities http://www.lewishyde.com/publications/the-gift
    xx

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  • Persephone

    Don’t let the bastards get you down.
    I have only recently discovered your blog and bought your book, but it is proving to be the catalyst I needed to change my life in so many ways. I will be forever grateful that I stumbled upon your blog the day I googled ‘how to make chicken stock’.

    x

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  • Ms Jane

    I’ve somehow missed this post until now but I just wanted to let you know that you’ve changed my life. If ever I get to meet you (not likely cos I live in Frankston and celebrities are too scared to come here!!) I’ll fill you in on how. Thanks for sharing and caring about your fellow human beams!!! Xxx

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  • Xanthe Addison

    I agree with all of the comments above Sarah. When sometimes I feel so alone in the world I feel like I can read your blog and finally find someone ‘normal’. So I guess that means we are either both insane… or so very normal.

    I turned to your blog this morning, with my decaf organic plunger coffee in hand, knowing that I would find that someone else in the world is trying their hardest to live a good, meaningful life. And as always, there you were!

    Thank you for always sharing.

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