How to host a sustainable dinner party

I turned 40 recently. And I had a party. It was a dinner party for 40 of my closest friends and family – 40 for 40 – and it was as sustainable as I could possibly make it. I bought nothing new, used produce that was going to be thrown out and kept as many ingredients as possible within a 100-200km radius of the event.

My brother Pete gave a speech. He told everyone I remind him of a horse.
My brother Pete gave a speech. He told everyone I remind him of a horse.

Why sustainable? Because I couldn’t just “chuck a party” with a whole stack of booze and booze-soaking food and…wastage. I wanted it to matter and, so, as I put the whole crazy gala together (doubting myself the whole way…Will people want to come? Will they turn up? Does anyone love me?), I realized it was an opportunity to showcase some great stuff happening in the food sustainability realm.  You know, to pass on the care.

(As an aside, the mere act of working out that this is exactly what matters to me was a boon. So was witnessing how the whole thing kinda flowed into place – a  nice reminder that when you do what matters to you, stuff flows.)

Below is a rundown of how I went about orchestrating the party and all the contacts and tips you might need to do much the same with your next event, wedding, parties, anything. There are two ways to do life: blindly and consciously. And we can choose our way at every turn. At least that’s what I think.

The Sustainable Dinner expert: Alex from Secret Foodies

I met Alex a while back when she invited me to an event she was running that showcased sustainable seafood. I liked her straight up. A country girl with great values who Just Makes Stuff Happen and waves away stress like a farmer swats a fly. She joined me to create the event and make it run far smoother than I ever could.

She can do the same for you – she does a great Farmyard Feast – or can tailor a theme to suit what matters to you. Or you can go along to one of her Secret Foodie dinners, pop-up events that work to different themes and bring together a bunch of fun, like-minded people in both Sydney and Melbourne at a secret event (sometimes it’s in a random alleyway, or on a Bondi rooftop or a cosy restaurant…and sometimes involving dress-ups).

The Cook: Studio Neon.

I met Aaron through Alex (I rather love how this sustainable food network works). Aaron (ex-Harvey Nichols’ 5th Floor Restaurant, Astral, EST and Felix, who’s worked as a private chef cooking for Lady Margaret Thatcher, Kate Moss, Keira Knightly and, wait for it, the Queen), along with his chef Richard Robinson, (ex-Momofuku, French Laundry) runs a rad rent-out-for-your-own-purposes dining space in Waterloo in Sydney, and puts on “Guestaurants” – bespoke dinners that work to many of the principles I espouse.

We put together a menu working back from ingredients we could source (for free, as leftovers, in season) and using herbs foraged from around

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Learn how to ferment. Plus a Sandor Katz giveaway!

If there’s one thing you need to learn to do – for the good of your guts (and broader health) – it’s to ferment.

Making my sauerkraut, shooting for I Quit Sugar For Life
Making my sauerkraut…a shot for I Quit Sugar For Life (recipe in the book). Photo by Marija Ivkovic

Fermenting is a big focus in my second book, I Quit Sugar For Life (which you can preorder now), and I feature a bunch of cultured recipes – including a beetroot relish which is great on hamburgers(!) and fermented cucumbers. Which are pickles. But better.

Here’s a bit of a blurb on why fermenting your veggies is so good for you. Also:

If you’re already a fan of fermenting, you may have heard of Sandor Katz, the US-based fermentation guru. The I Quit Sugar team and I are bubbling with excitement to be going to one of Sandor’s fermenting classes in a few weeks. And it gets better for you, my dear readers: Milkwood Permaculture, who are hosting the event are giving away four tickets – for yourself and three mates – to attend Sandor’s evening workshop in Sydney, Brisbane or Melbourne. Details below! 

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Friend fade-outs v friend fall-outs

This is a topic that’s come up a lot among my mates and I lately – the challenges of navigating tricky friendships. Not between us, but beyond.

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Image via jojotastic.com

Over various martinis and meals, I’ve shared my thinking on the subject and thought I might share with you guys, too.

I think many people find navigating friendships as their life stages shift really difficult. Among my friends (most are in their late 30s and early 40s), different and competing commitments (some of us are single, some married with kids; all of us are busy) trigger disappointment and miscommunications. It can be challenging territory to navigate.

I used to cover stories on this topic when I edited Cosmopolitan magazine years back. To be honest, I never quite got the big deal with friend dilemmas. I think it’s because I’ve never had a “crew” of friends. I have a very select number of close one-on-ones and a broad network of acquaintances. Plus, I’m an independent loner. I don’t rely on friends to go about my life – I don’t travel with friends, live with them or date their exes. It’s just not how I do friendship. Of course, I treasure my friends’ counsel and company, but if there’s an issue between us it doesn’t impact me on a practical level, if you get what I mean.

It’s possibly from this perspective I proffer this as a way of dealing with trickiness when it arises: “the friend fade-out”.

I’ve not really had friend fall-outs or massive bust-ups off the back of a misunderstanding or whatever. I’ve done fade-outs.

A fade out is when a bad smell emerges between you and a mate. You might confront them and address the issue in some way. You give it one

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Quit sugar in 8 weeks: what do you need to ask me?

I think many of you might have noticed…I don’t really bang on about sugar on this blog these days. I have a new site – IQuitSugar.com – where I do this now. But I interrupt proceedings today to give readers here the opportunity to ask me any niggling questions you might have about quitting sugar ahead of my next online 8-Week Program, which kicks off in a few days.

Fish and Chips
Fish and Chips, a meal from the 8-Week Program menu plan

You see, you can now quit sugar on your own via my book or as part of a community via this online program. Thousands have now done it this way. They say they like it. You might find it suits you, too.

Some crucials:

* The next program starts January 31.

* Registrations close January 28. Which is on Tuesday!!

sign-up-ready

Some common questions, answered:

Will I lose weight? Most people do, but check this out if you want to know more.

How does the online program differ from the book? You get a lot more bang for your bucks with the online program – recipes, menu plans for 8 weeks worth of eating, hand-held advice, leading nutritionists and doctors on hand to answer your questions as you go…and more. More here on this.

What will I eat? Only fun food. Our dietician Marieke says: “Both the meat and vegetarian meal plans are great and very well rounded. They meet the dietary requirements for all nutrients”. The pictures illustrating this post give a bit of a taste.

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Sometimes we just have to circle like a dog

You know how dogs do that thing where they circle around and around looking for the right place – seemingly the perfect place – to sink to the ground?  I watch them do it and wonder, What exactly are they seeking? What is their perfection?

Image via Pinterest
Image via Pinterest

That said, I do the same thing. I circle before sinking to the ground.

Regular readers here know I struggle with both perfectionism and indecision (the two go hand in hand). I circle and circle before making many of my decisions relating to my private life (business decisions I make quite quickly and intuitively). It can take me hours, weeks, years to settle to my spot on the ground. Often I’m not even mulling the decision over. I’m not stalling for more information, nor more time to weigh up pros and cons.

I’m simply circling.

Like most indecisive perfectionists I fret that this stalling/circling is problematic. That I’m defective. A lesser person for not knowing what kind of couch to get, or how I want to spend my day off.

But. What. If. We reposition this whole maneuvere? What if circling serves its own purpose? What if circling is the smart, wise, decisive thing to do? When I watch a dog circle I don’t see a beast suffering angst. I see them going through a process that makes their final sit-down better. Circling builds anticipation, it’s build-up. It’s preparation.

The thing is this: a dog will always land in the same place – circling or no circling.

Ditto with me, I reckon.  When I stall on deciding on a couch, it’s because it doesn’t feel right. Yet. I don’t have to think-fret about why. It just doesn’t. I don’t respond to emails for a bit, I wait another few days, I live life without a couch…and then, after one final lap around the traps viewing

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Pre-order I Quit Sugar For Life now and get my Chocolate Cookbook free

Hello dear friends.

You might have heard – I’ve written another book, a follow-up to I Quit Sugar: Your Complete 8-Week Detox Program and Cookbook. It’s taken the better part of a year to put together. It’s a reflection, however, of my life’s work. Here she is…or the cover image, at least. As you can see, the cover is a reflection of my life. And work.

I Quit Sugar for Life

You can read all about it February 27 when it hits bookshops.

Or you can get in early and preorder here and I’ll send you your copy February 26 before everyone else gets theirs PLUS a copy of the I Quit Sugar Chocolate Cookbook (which you can send onto a friend…or keep for yourself).

You’ll receive your Chocolate Cookbook immediately so you can get cooking sugar-free while you wait! 

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But now I’ll answer some questions I’m reckoning many of you want to ask:

How’s I Quit Sugar For Life different from your first book?

If IQS was about how to quit sugar, along with a bunch of recipes to get you started (targeting “problem areas” like breakfast and snacks), IQSforLife shows you how to use the sugar-fee approach to live well… in every respect of the word.

  • It’s a 9-part Wellness Code, including fitness, travelling and shopping directions.
  • It builds in a 4-week Wellness Program, plus menu plans for families, singles and those wanting a quick “green” reboot.
  • It includes 148 recipes, all designed for families of four and for singles.

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Does quitting sugar heal autoimmune disease?

This is actually a post I’ve been busting to write for a while. As many of you know, I first quit sugar because of my autoimmune (AI) disease. I have Hashimotos. And a big part of why I’ve stuck to the sugar-free program is that it’s made such a damn big difference.

Image via inspirationlush.com
Image via inspirationlush.com

So the simple answer is this: Quitting sugar has had the biggest impact on my AI, more so than my medication or any other medical fix (and, trust me, I’ve tried everything). In the past three years, I’ve been able to better manage my AI, but also – yes – reverse a lot of the damage.

  • I have zero thyroid antibodies now.
  • I’m on the most minimal dosage of thyroxin.
  • My hormone levels have fallen back into the right range (more on this soon!).

It’s taken years to get to this point. I put it down to the massive change to my diet that quitting sugar precipitated. And to breaking the clusterf*ck cycle that autoimmune disease invariably locks you into.

But why? And how? Let me explain…

Warning: Like most of my AI and thyroid posts this is a long one. And as I always remind people, even if you don’t have an AI, you’ll probably find it helpful because the advice I share relates to all of us. Or you probably have a loved one who has an AI…please share this with them.

Sugar mucks up your gut

Blood sugar imbalances inflame the digestive tract, causing leaky gut (literally, a perforated gut lining). In turn, leaky gut triggers the development of AI. Toxins are able to pass through the perforations into the bloodstream triggering an autoimmune reaction as our antibodies head out to attack the foreign invaders. These little antibody soldiers can then get confused and head off to attack parts of our bodies, such as the thyroid.  Gluten, for instance, has a very similar molecular structure to the thyroid gland.

Sugar causes inflammation

The process above obviously creates inflammation, which compromises immune function. In addition, sugar compromises the ability of our white

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Assume the head massage will last forever

Do you know that feeling when you’re at the hairdresser where you’re getting the head massage at the basin and you Just Can’t Relax because you fear said massage is going to end any minute?  And then you berate yourself for not enjoying the one bit of niceness in your entire week?

My surf-encrusted summer hair all tidied up! Thanks Maria
My very dedicated hairdresser Maria at Ardino in Paddington, NSW. And me post head massage. Which did in fact end. But not before I enjoyed it.

Yeah, that.

Well, I was at my hairdresser last week getting my greys covered up and I braced myself for this moment in heart-sinky self-sabotaging. As the conditioner was applied and the fingers sank in I steered my mind to the assumption that it was a massage that was going to go on and on and not end abruptly.

Two things:

  • Having deleted a time frame from the equation, I could focus instead on the massage. I got into the moment. Time frames ruin things.
  • This assumption created a vibe (an “air”) of abundance. And it’s amazing how, when you create an “air” about you, things flow from there. In this case, the massage did in fact go on and on. Or at least that was how it felt. And isn’t that what counts?

Assuming an air of abundance ain’t a bad way to set out each day, with every activity. I’m not a “manifest-y, roll around with a dolphin under a rainbow in your little puddle of abundance…with a pet unicorn” preacher. But I do know that like attracts like (on a quantum level and beyond) and that it certainly doesn’t hurt to assume the best. Indeed, the worst that can happen is that the massage does end prematurely. But a bit of disappointment is better than tense anticipation, right?

Extrapolate this out further: dealing with failure or f*ck ups or let-downs after the event is more manageable than forever trying to narrow your

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Holy shit. I just turned 40.

I don’t quite know how this crept up on me. But here I am, 40.

I’m not ashamed of the number. Nor uncomfortable about entering into a new age category on government forms and internet dating profiles. But this birthday feels poignant. Potent.

Image via Favim
Image via Favim

Forty is halfway. Up until this mid-point (Lord, I’m now middleaged!), my life approach was all “run-up”. Everything was ahead of me, as potential. I’d taken jobs that were a “good experience” that would prepare me for my real job… one day. I had relationships that were good practice for when I met my soul mate. I’d not worried about certain things – committing, settling down, um, buying a couch – because I was in preparation mode. Lining up my ducks.

The past four decades have been a dress rehearsal for the “real performance”.

But today I’ve arrived. This is it.

No more run ups. No more rehearsals. I have to get out there on the stage and bear myself to the audience.

This is who I am. No hiding behind the excuse that I’m in training and still testing the waters.

And, you know what, this feels good. Like, really good.

I think some people hit this mid-point with the heart-sinky impression that what goes up most now come down, that 40 is a pinnacle and it’s a downhill journey from here.

I don’t see it this way. I’ve reflected on it a bit and I’ve chosen to see to stay here at the summit for quite some time.

I’m going to cruise at altitude for as along as I feel good about it before descending into old age.

Which is to say, a long time.

I recently finished reading Helen Garner’s essay collection True Stories. Garner’s writing is so measured, honest and unapologetic. She writes about turning 50. “The grand thing about being fifty is how tough you can be. You don’t have to care about what people think. You can let things rip, in your work…you can stop wanting to be nice.” She uses the example where some bloke accuses her of not laughing at much any more. Her retort: “Yes, I do – but not at the same things; and I don’t feel obliged to crack jokes and kick up my heels just to keep a stranger

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allow time

Sometimes solutions can be so stupidly simple. This holiday break I experimented with doing nothing. It paid off. I got some serious rest. Indeed, each day I got seriously excited about heading home in the afternoons to do nothing but lie and read and potter and make fermented mayonnaise. And so forth. So much so, I failed to pull my weight over Christmas with the family, such was my slothfulness (my family forgave me, seeing it as something of a novelty).

Image via tineye.com
Image via tineye.com

I also got perspective. Now at the end of the two-week period and back in the office, I feel clear and calm. I withdrew further back from the flurry than I ever have. And this is what I saw:

The secret to calm is to book in more time.

I’ve written before about buffering. I guess I’m using this potent time of year to remind myself (all of us) of the worth of padding out life with more space and time.

Thing is, getting things done in less time has become a sport. The ability to cut corners, juggle more things in the one hour, conduct a conference call while checking the mail – and so on – is worn as a badge of honour. But the longterm effects of this unmindful way of being is not something you’d want to pin to your chest.

It scrunches. It constricts. It scratches at your emotional fibre.

Over the past fortnight I realized how resentful I am of my rushing. Driving makes me tense. Meetings get me anxious (for them to move faster). Even some of the more creative, fun aspects of my work leave me cringing.

…all because I don’t leave enough time to be in the moment with it. The tight little vessel of time I allow for getting things done isn’t big enough to fit me in it comfortably. I squeeze in half a limb, a quarter of my brain…rarely my whole.

I’m not sure if I’m spelling out something too obvious. But it’s something I very much overlooked and dismissed in 2013. My clarity exposes it,

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