Do you know that feeling when you’re at the hairdresser where you’re getting the head massage at the basin and you Just Can’t Relax because you fear said massage is going to end any minute?  And then you berate yourself for not enjoying the one bit of niceness in your entire week?

My surf-encrusted summer hair all tidied up! Thanks Maria
My very dedicated hairdresser Maria at Ardino in Paddington, NSW. And me post head massage. Which did in fact end. But not before I enjoyed it.

Yeah, that.

Well, I was at my hairdresser last week getting my greys covered up and I braced myself for this moment in heart-sinky self-sabotaging. As the conditioner was applied and the fingers sank in I steered my mind to the assumption that it was a massage that was going to go on and on and not end abruptly.

Two things:

  • Having deleted a time frame from the equation, I could focus instead on the massage. I got into the moment. Time frames ruin things.
  • This assumption created a vibe (an “air”) of abundance. And it’s amazing how, when you create an “air” about you, things flow from there. In this case, the massage did in fact go on and on. Or at least that was how it felt. And isn’t that what counts?

Assuming an air of abundance ain’t a bad way to set out each day, with every activity. I’m not a “manifest-y, roll around with a dolphin under a rainbow in your little puddle of abundance…with a pet unicorn” preacher. But I do know that like attracts like (on a quantum level and beyond) and that it certainly doesn’t hurt to assume the best. Indeed, the worst that can happen is that the massage does end prematurely. But a bit of disappointment is better than tense anticipation, right?

Extrapolate this out further: dealing with failure or f*ck ups or let-downs after the event is more manageable than forever trying to narrow your expectations. As humans we are better at fixing things than restricting ourselves. Right?

Expand! Risk! Arrogantly assume abundance! And apply such an approach to Thai massages, telling your partner you love them, making a first move, telling a stranger they’re handsome, saying yes to a crazy idea. For, as I say often, we only have 80-odd years on this planet.

Does this resonate?

Have your say, leave a comment.

  • Andi

    Love this post!

  • Cheryl

    Absolutely Sarah ! If we can’t be open to the ‘the joy’ we’ve already timed out. Brene Brown calls the gremlins that lurk on our shoulders sabotaging that joy, ” you’re not worthy enough” or “who do you think you are” either one will make sure we struggle to enjoy. Totally agree with you on the time frame notion too. Thanks for your authentic self and the way you connect.

  • TheLifeSheMade

    I agree with the sentiment here.

    A bit off topic, I hate when you settle in for the head massage and you get someone who is just going through the motions and basically doing a crappy job. In these cases I can’t wait for it to be over. Any advice for this scenario?

    • Ah, yes. I focus on connecting with them and shifting their vibe. It can work. Interesting exercise at very least!

  • Absolutely love this, Sarah!

  • Moo

    Great article. I thought I was the only one who dreaded the end of head massage.

  • Di Elliffe

    Yes, this is me, and thanks for pointing it out! I resolve to relax into the moment this year 🙂

  • Sarah

    I completed an Indian Head Massage course a few years ago .. a sublime experience to both give and receive! The full practice can be up to an hour long. At the time I had dreams of setting up a billowing tent at festivals and markets to share these truly blissful massages ..

    • Ha! You should share your details… I”m sure there are many of us who’d love one of your massages!

  • Kez

    I had a beautiful foot massage the other day and my first thought was that this will b over soon so don’t enjoy it too much .. Aaagh! Thought I was the only one who thought like this .. Great and helpful post thNks Sarah 🙂

  • I love this and will experiment with this approach for a while (or forever 🙂

  • Meghann

    Love this! Also, I’d like a pet unicorn please.

  • Aletha

    Love this article. I think more simply it’s about ‘being in the moment’ and using the goodness of being in the moment to propel you into an air of positivity, optimism, happiness and wellness. We all have the power to control our thoughts and I can’t agree more with what you have said. In our daily experiences in life we have to ground ourselves in the present and consciously make a little effort to focus on enjoying the here and now and shift our attitudes towards our expectations of the future.

  • Oh my goodness I love this post. Even though I totally am a manifest-y, roll around with a dolphin under a rainbow in your little puddle of abundance…with a pet unicorn” type. (Although maybe without the dolphin, I’d much prefer the unicorn). Thankfully in this world, head massages are abundant!

  • Sarah, you truly have such a way of recognising the little things that people fret about! And i thought I was the only one that worried about the end of my head massage, facial etc before it had even begun! Thankyou for your truly remarkable words and wisdom on life, you have inspired me in so many ways over the years xx

  • LaurenElizabeth

    Sarah, sometimes it’s as if you are writing on behalf of the voice in my head

  • Joe Badger

    Nice Article! Other than relieving stress, head massage is also good for curing
    insomnia, fatigue, headaches, sinusitis, and migraines. It increases
    flexibility in the neck and shoulders and improves the flow of blood
    throughout the entire scalp. It also provides relief to tired facial
    muscles.
    http://www.thaisquarespa.com

  • Milla

    Love this! I’m going to start with this today, first at my hairdresser appointment and then take it from there, let’s see where assuming abundance can take me!

  • Gabrielle

    Absolutely: “we only have 80 odd years on this planet”
    Will we not dive in abundantly because THAT’s going to be over soon, too?

    Just what I needed to hear and remember right now – thanks, Sarah

  • Sally

    Agree entirely! I always enjoy my hairdresser head massage quietly. Internally to be more specific, unlike the gentleman I heard in the chair next to me recently who sounded like he was having an orgasm. For. Real.