Some advice for anyone who’s recently left a relationship

English poet and philosopher David Whyte was once called on to give a friend some advice. This friend was in the middle of leaving a relationship. I’ve been there – in the position of counsel. Mostly it takes me straight back, like riding down a razor blade, to the times I’ve had to leave love myself. I don’t know that anything is harder.

Image by Maia Fore
Image by Maia Fore

There’s this: We think we are not just losing that person, but the part of ourselves that loved.

And this: We share dreams with this other person and we pivot our very selves on those dreams. When we leave love, we have to now give these dreams up too. Is there anything left? Is there a stable pivot point anymore? The last time I was in this space, I know I honestly felt that the ground had fallen out from beneath me and that I was left with nothing but thin air to try and tread through. Like a nightmare.

And also this: It all seems so arduous to start up again with our own dreams. Doesn’t it? Where to start from when your platform is a nightmare-like abyss of thin air?

Whyte wrote a poem for his mate that sums some of this up. I find it funny that previously my Poem of Comfort

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I Quit Sugar is hiring!

It’s a pretty exciting time at I Quit Sugar. We’re expanding! We’re on the hunt for a bunch of new people to join our incredible team. If you’re keen to bust into the world of online health and wellness, one of these roles might be calling your name.

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Have a read of what’s on offer below and, if anything appeals, head over to I Quit Sugar for details on how to apply.

Marketing Executive: You’ll support the Head of Sales and Marketing in conceptualising and delivering campaigns across multiple platforms and formats. You’ll have a great understanding of the social media landscape with a solid background in managing communities on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter. Read more.

Books and Apps Coordinator: Is your iPad stuffed with the latest digital books and apps? Love a bit of whizz-bang gadgetry? You’ll be responsible for project managing the delivery of our tastebud-tingling array of digital cookbooks and work with the team to deliver a jaw-dropping app. Read more.

Junior Writer: Keen to prove your penmanship in the world of online health blogging? You’ll gain

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7 ayurvedic spices for sugar cravings

I covered off the ayurvedic reason you might be craving sugar recently. You should check it out. Today I’ve asked Nadia Marshall of The Mudita Institute, a training and education organisation and health clinic in Byron Bay, Australia, to share how to use regular kitchen spices in your regular cooking to, ah, regulate your blood sugar. Fun stuff…

Image by Lisa Wassmann
Image by Lisa Wassmann

What’s the Ayurvedic perspective on “blood sugar issues”?

When people talk about “blood sugar issues” they’re often referring to hypoglycaemia-type symptoms where blood-sugar levels bottom out. This can lead to sudden hunger, light-headedness, dizziness, the shakes, confusion, headaches and moodiness. From an Ayurvedic perspective, these symptoms are a sign of Vata (air/ether) indigestion or variable agni (agni is Sanskrit for digestive fire). These symptoms often go hand-in-hand with gas, bloating or pain after eating, constipation or a general feeling of agitation or nervousness. But blood-sugar is a complex thing and can also be caused by an imbalance in the other doshas, Kapha (water/earth) and/or Pitta (fire/water).

To learn about your dosha, read here.

Luckily, there are some special Ayurvedic kitchen spices that are appropriate for people of any constitution or imbalance that, in small amounts as part of your daily diet, will not only help to regulate blood-sugar levels

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I’m glad I’ll be old when I find love

I’ve come to a lot of peace lately (the last year or two) with my singledom. There are a number of themes that have emerged and informed this stable, quiet, happy place. I’ve explored a few before here and here.

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Image by Merve Ozaslan

But recently I’ve realised this, with hindsight: I haven’t trusted myself to love another in the way I’d like to love A Special One and so, thankfully, subliminally, I’ve kept myself away from the field until I’ve had the emotional muscle to do it well.

As is so often the case when I explore a theme, a ripper quote then appeared from the interwebs (bless this mess!) to remind me I’m on the right track:

“To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Not knowing how to love…what is this? I think it comes in many flavours. It’s loving the idea of someone or loving the potential of someone. I’ve done both. Of course, when the “idea” that you originally envisaged

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My Healthy Family Meals Cookbook is out on e-shelves now!

The I Quit Sugar team’s latest cookbook Healthy Family Meals  is my kind of book. In 40 recipes it encapsulates all the stuff I’m passionate about. It’s the way I eat. Simple, sustainable, economical, fuss-free with less pots and no fancy bits…and with a side (or three) of greens.

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Baked Pumpkin

Here’s some things the team and I feel you might like to know:

1. Every meal is sustainable. We use chicken thighs, not breasts. You can read why here.We blitz leftover cooked veggies with cooked potato and a bit of butter to make an extra nutritious side dish.  We make our fish cakes with offcuts and buy full fat mince meat. Fat equals flavour and fills you up. The most insanely great bit about sustainable eating is that it’s also the most economical way to eat.

If you just want to get straight to the cookbook (!), it’s available in the I Quit Sugar store.

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Have you married yourself yet?

I’ve just been introduced to the poet and philosopher, David Whyte. In his book The Three Marriages, he says we need to navigate, yep, three marriages in life: one to others (“particularly and very personally, to one other living, breathing person”), another to work and another to one’s self, “through an understanding of what it means to be themselves, discrete individuals alive and seemingly separate from everyone and everything else.”

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Image by oleg oprisco

Whyte believes they all involve vows made either consciously or unconsciously and that we should work on all three marriages, not as separate entities that have to be pitted against each other (in order to find that elusive “balance”), but as a “conversation” where all three are equally important.

But, he flags, the toughest hook-up is with our selves. It’s also the most critical, because without it the other two are but desperate, wobbly, outward-looking clamberings.

“Neglecting this internal marriage, we can easily make ourselves a hostage to the externals of work and the demands of relationship. We find ourselves unable to move in these outer marriages because we have no inner foundation from which to step out with a firm persuasion. It is as if, absent a loving relationship

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The oils I use: a personal listicle

I shared last week why I use oils for the bulk of my beauty regime. As promised, here’s a bunch of products I’ve used or currently use. I mix it up. Always trying things out…

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image by maia flore

Please be aware, I’ve not been paid to run this list. By anyone. The recommendations are genuine. In the past few days a few advertisers have asked to place ads on this site, however. Just so you know.

To clean my face: Jojoba oil. I put a small amount on my (dry) face before getting in the shower. I’ll leave it on for a bit before turning on the water. While the steam is building I wash my body, turning to my face last (allowing the steam to do its thing). Using a robust facecloth I wipe the oil off.

Brands: I mostly use The Jojoba Company oil. Recently I’ve been using one I bought at Kings Cross market. I’ve also used Bloom Cleansing Oil, made with almond oil in the mix, too.

Makeup remover: As above, but I tend to do a second round. PS I don’t use makeup wipes. I use a face cloth.

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Why you might need more carbs to get your period back

In the past nine months I’ve put on a few kilos. In the past nine months I also got my period back, after six years of nada. The cause of this not-great condition is my autoimmune disease (Hashimotos). What got me back on track? Changing my diet, backing off on exercise and… consciously putting on weight. Kate Callaghan (who’s sharing today’s post) and I met shortly before this when she was working with me as a much-loved member of the I Quit Sugar Team. We discussed this idea – putting on weight to get our menstrual cycles back. And doing so by eating more carbs than what we’d normally choose to. (Previously, she’s shared the changes she made to reverse her infertility and coming to terms with putting on weight.)

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Kate Callaghan

Anyway, I’ll be discussing this a bit more here and over at I Quit Sugar in the next little while. But for now, I’ve asked Kate, a dietician, personal trainer and lifestyle coach, to explain how the eating more carbs thing played out. The below is taken from her new ebook, Healing Hypothalamic Amenorrhea, which you can buy here. Got questions for either of us? Post below and we’ll endeavour to answer. Over to you Kate…

When it comes to hormonal health, most people will tell you that proteins and fats are essential as they are the building blocks of hormones. They’re right – these ARE essential, but when your period goes missing in action, you might need to look at upping your carb intake too. Here’s why:

1. To calm your adrenal glands.

Your body is pretty smart when it comes to maintaining homeostasis (science speak for “balance”). If your blood sugar levels rise, your body releases insulin to push that sugar into your cells where it can either be used for energy or stored. If your blood sugar levels drop (for example – between meals, or from inadequate carbohydrate intake), your body will either pull glucose from storage in the liver and muscles (glycogenolysis) or

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Why I use beauty oils instead of cosmetics

Last week I shared my personal toxin-free cosmetics listicle. In the past I’ve also covered off safe sunscreens, toxin-free nail polish and safe fake tan. An update from my ablutions front: Slowly, slowly I’ve been reducing what I use to a very small kit. And it pretty much comes down to…oil. Even my mascara. And cleanser.

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Image by Lissy Elle Laricchia

I follow Ayurvedic thinking when it comes to oils. This style of healing uses oils to heal a number of ailments, particularly those that stem from a vata disposition. Vata is a personality tendency characterised by flightiness, agitation, an inability to focus, excitement, sleep problems, digestion issues. I’m VERY vata. But even those of us who aren’t vata-dominant experience the craziness of out of control vata because our culture is very vata. Fast food, fast traffic, fast timetables, chaotic schedules… it’s knocking our vata about. And one some of the best ways to calm vata is to use oils. Oils are heavy and grounding. They coax vata back down to earth, like Miss Jane pulling Mr Squiggle back down to the ground.

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Each of us is responsible for everything

I’ve been reading Simone De Beuvoir’s The Blood of Others. It’s a grating read. It cuts to the pain of an ethical quandary that I feel should grate at us all – are we responsible for everything? Or should we just take care of ourselves? It goes to the heart of existentialist angst – the French variety.

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Simone De Beauvoir, by Charis Tsevis

In it, the main character, Jean, quotes Dostoyevsky:

“Each of us is responsible for everything and to every human being.”

Jean adds: “We’re all responsible. But ‘all’ means each of us. I’ve always felt that, even when I was a kid; my eyes are sufficient for this boulevard to exist…I see everything taking place, as if everything that happens, happens through me.”

And so, in classic existentialist form (always, already) he sums up the philosophical basis of our purpose on this planet. But Helene his clinging girlfriend wants more from him. She responds:

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