i’m bored of my bullsh*t defenses. I’m shedding my bark.

Posted on June 22nd, 2011

I know I come across as open. Few defenses. Willing to discuss my bowel habits and my sadness with tens of thousands of strangers. But I’ve had to realise lately that this brazen openness is actually a defense. A boring one. For me, anyway.

by Sarah Hermans

Do you tend to point out your faults loudly when you’re nervous? Because you figure it’s better to get in first, before someone points them out for you? Yeah. Me too. Openess can be like that. It works like this: Before you challenge me on my boundaries, before you hold a mirror up to my intimacy issues, how about I barrage you with my brazeness, then you won’t have a leg to stand on!

Well, this approach has kind of got stale lately. It’s not serving me too well. When I do it now I cringe.

As it happens I read on DailyOm last week a little metaphor about trees shedding their bark. It’s fitting:

Trees grow wider with each passing year. As they do, they shed the bark that served to protect them but now is no longer big enough to contain them. In the same way, we create boundaries and develop defenses to protect ourselves and then, at a certain point, we outgrow them. If we don’t allow ourselves to shed our protective layer, we can’t expand to our full potential. Read more

how to see signs

Posted on June 10th, 2011

I’ve been getting a few “signs” lately. I don’t know what you make of signs…

by Asja Binno (via The Beast)

Me, I think that patterns emerge as we go about life and they bank up – get blocked or layer up. A bit like stuff swirling down a drain; the stuff forms a bit of clump and we need to twirl it with a stick – give it our attention – so it can loosen and continue down the drain.

Everything is a sign, some are just louder than others. Some patterns bank up and they tell us we need to pay attention. Turn a different way, gently move along a different path.

I find signs come in threes for me. Read more

New Year ideas: surround yourself in green

Posted on January 4th, 2011

Over the next week or two I’ll post some reflections for a fresh start.

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This one is from DailyOm about the colour green. I’ll extract it in part.

Green is a combination of the colors yellow and blue, … Blue exudes calm and peace, while yellow radiates liveliness and high levels of energy. As a marriage between these two very different colors, green is a unifier of opposites, offering both the excitement of yellow and the tranquility of blue. It energizes blue‚s passivity and soothes yellow‚s intensity, inspiring us to be both active and peaceful at the same time. Read more