In 1964, Yoko Ono published a collation of art “pieces’ in a book called Grapefruit. One such moment in artistic whimsy was the Mirror Piece.
I took from it this: It’s good to go inwards and to truly look in the mirror and pull yourself apart. To Do The Work.
But it’s better if you do this by fronting up to someone in relationship and Do The Work via what they feed back to you. It probably won’t be as sugar-coated and the feedback probably won’t come when it’s convenient for you. It will be old, fat, ugly, raw at times.
Which is the best bit. Because it’s all you. A person’s reactions to you and your behaviour is all about you. And the more you find it confronting, the more you must rise and become a bigger person. The more work you must do.
I’ve avoided doing this for years. Obtaining a person was too much hard work and my seductive ego shirked in fear.
But there’s also this: If the person you obtain is particularly transparent, who’s done work to tame their ego and is willing to play the “relationship as mirror” character-raiser game with you, then the ante is upped even further. Because the reflection will be even clearer. And rawer.
The most wonderful thing in the world to have happened to me recently is to have met a “person” whose mirror is cuttingly clear. It’s both terrifying and necessary.
How are you with a “person as mirror” game?