- Do you want to be right or to love? I’ve had reason recently to visit this idea again. A most powerful idea, beautifully brought to us by Rumi. Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. More than six years ago I wrote about the idea in detail. I’d read a New York Times Modern Love more
- suffering for existence The opening line to Graham Greene’s The End of the Affair is thus: So Graham Greene. I love his pared-back writing. He plonks the squirmy bits about life and relationships on the page via characters who are invariably flawed in quite banal ways. I find he treats his characters like Agatha Christie does a plot, more
- what struggle do you want in your life? I have a friend. Let’s call him Dick. He’s a challenge. But then so am I. But the thing is, the more he’s a challenge, the more I love him. I have to struggle at times to hold his energy, to ride his emotions, to apologise to the waiters that he’s rude to. But the more
- Let’s go about this slowly (I’ll tell you why) Poet Mary Oliver does it for me. Have you read any of her work? She places her observations of the heart so delicately that the words disappear and a wistful truth remains. Here’s something from her recent compilation Felicity: Poems that makes me glad: I did think, let’s go about this slowly. This is important. more
- Some advice for anyone who’s recently left a relationship English poet and philosopher David Whyte was once called on to give a friend some advice. This friend was in the middle of leaving a relationship. I’ve been there – in the position of counsel. Mostly it takes me straight back, like riding down a razor blade, to the times I’ve had to leave love myself. I don’t more
- I’m glad I’ll be old when I find love I’ve come to a lot of peace lately (the last year or two) with my singledom. There are a number of themes that have emerged and informed this stable, quiet, happy place. I’ve explored a few before here and here. But recently I’ve realised this, with hindsight: I haven’t trusted myself to love another in the more
- I’ve been a hypocrite and I need to move on I’ve been ready for a slap. It’s been building up. I’ve been too seductive. I needed to be knocked back to earth. Last week, in the midst of the slap-down-I-needed-to-have, my mate Dan Buettner posted a quote on Instagram from the Health Matters conference he was speaking at. He cited Bill Clinton, who spoke at the conference: more
- Debating doing the 8-Week Program? Here’s how it’s helped others I get asked regularly about the benefits of quitting sugar. Personally, quitting sugar has helped me a tremendous amount with my autoimmune disease. While a lot of you ask regularly about the weight loss component – sugar does help you shift weight if you need to (I lost weight I’d put on as a result of more
- Buy Experiences, Not Things Things have always made me unhappy. They bog me down. I prefer the lightness of experiences. They breeze in and out and through me. I don’t have to store them in a wardrobe. They don’t tumble down on my head when they’re stuffed into the top cupboard. They can just come for the ride and more
- A comforting note to single people. From me. This is a thing: if you’re single in your 30s or 40s you can feel like you’ve missed a steamin’ big ship. Dominant discourse, sadly, goes like this: The pickings are slim; it’s all second rounds and baggage and receding hairlines. And it can feel helpless. Hopeless. Because you just can’t find people who fit more
